Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Staff Who Worked for a Long Time Should be Promoted.

Some people think that only staff who worked in the company for a long time should be promoted to higher positions. What is your opinion?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Employees are the assets of every organization as they play a pivotal role for in the success of their company. (The general/ opening statement is fine.) It is often thought that the promotion criteria of workers should be the time period for which they have served (1) the company. In my view, this policy of promotion of workers is based on only one factor. However, employers should also consider staff for higher positions on the basis of their performance. Restructure: Combine the two sentences without losing the meaningI believe that along with this factor (referencing – cohesion) the performance (qualification) of an employee, irrespective of the duration of work, is equally important. (2)

1. Have Served = they started serving in the past and are still serving at present.

2. Though I’ve restructured the sentence, the question is not about OTHER criteria for promotion. It is a contrast between two viewpoints: A. Only staff that has worked for a long time should be promoted. B. The staff that has not worked for a long time should also be promoted. Though B includes the performance angle, you need to mention ‘irrespective of the duration of work‘ as you’ve done in the body paragraph 2.

Undoubtedly, every organization has a tendency to hire internal, experienced persons on managerial positions. Due to this, companies prefer those employees who have worked for them for a quite significant time period (This is the same as the previous sentence. Internal, experienced person = employees who have worked for them.) as they have deep knowledge about the strengths and weaknesses of their firms. Thus, they not only have an ability to take make sound decisions for the company but also have skills to save the company during any downfall in the market. Another important reason is that such senior workers employees have worked for their employers with loyalty. So, promotions should be given as rewards to them, consequently keep them so that they stay motivated to work effectively honestly. (Effectively comes under the idea of PERFORMANCE – the next paragraph. Loyalty can be equated to honesty.) (The arguments are well developed.)

Although, (no comma here) work tenure is an important factor to consider while promoting staff members, their work performance should not be overlooked. This is because, (no comma here) it is not necessary that working for a long extensive (extensive can’t be used in the context of time.) period of time for a firm proves competency of an employee. There may be some new workers who have less experience but they perform well better in comparison to senior the older ones. Therefore, promotion can be based on the efficacy and competency of a worker. (Though this will not count as a serious mistake, you’ve used a few words incorrectly. The argument is well developed.)

In conclusion, though long-serving employees have undeniably a potential to take any organization to a next level, workforce who are able to outperform in their assigned duties should also be considered a priority for promotion. higher placement.

Total Words = 280.

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