Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Give Staff Four Weeks Holiday Per Year – 2.

Some people think that employers should give staff at least four weeks holiday per year to improve their job performance. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Please read the sample answer HERE.

It is undoubtedly true that the human mind and body works work (more than one subject – body and mind) efficiently when they take breaks for a while (take breaks at regular intervals). To achieve maximum work efficiency, it is suggested by many work (?) that entrepreneurs (Oops! 1) employers should grant one month holidays per annum to their employees. I completely agree with this statement (proposal). (The paragraph structure is fine. You’ve stated your opinion clearly.)

1. Not all employers are not entrepreneurs. Nestle, for instance, is not an entrepreneur but an employer. Wrong word choice reduces LR score. It is not advisable to change to core NOUNS in the question statement.

To begin with, this amount of time will be optimum (enough) for employees to rejuvenate and refresh themselves. As they get the opportunity to break the monotony of their work schedule, they can wisely utilize their holidays by undertaking exotic tours or by spending time with their families. Both the activities will enable them to take their professional lives easy for a while. When they rejoin their workplace, they would be more enthusiastic about and productive at their work. (The argument is clearly and sufficiently developed. Good job!)

In addition, when the employer allows his workers to have four-week time-off from work, it will build employees’ confidence in the policies of the company towards the welfare of employees. As a result, they would be honest and make determined efforts to help achieve the objectives of the company. This would ultimately benefit the employer not only in terms of improved work productivity but also in terms of reputation as happy and enthusiastic employees garnish the image of the company and attract more potential clients and customers. (Could I have written so well? I doubt it. This scores well on grammar, sentence structure, paragraph structure, task response, cohesion, lexical resource.)

You can enhance to quality of your response by constructing a really simple yet effective example. This approach is primarily responsible for the high productivity of certain companies such as Google, Amazon, and Apple.

In conclusion, as per my perspective prospective, a one month holiday per annual annum for employees is advantageous for both employees and the employer. As The former will have an opportunity to visit tourist places and nourish their social lives, and the latter will have a motivated and loyal workforce when which is an asset and (an ingredient) a catalyst for the success of any business.

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