Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Teachers Have A Bigger Influence On Children Than Parents – 3.

When children start school, teachers have a bigger influence on their academic and social development as compared to their parents. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion and relevant examples.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Please read the Sample Answer as well.

Answer:

Development and growth of a child on social as well an academic level is are influenced by several agents such as guardians, mentors, peers, and idols. While I believe that teachers have a profound influence on children’s academic success, I do not agree with the statement that the teachers have a stronger influence than parents on their social growth.

On the one hand, teacher’s expertise, techniques, and methods of teaching have a direct correlation with the students’ academic success. (EXPLAIN the expertise, techniques, and methods. The teachers employ puzzle games, debates, discussions, seminars, and events such as science fairs to teach various concepts to students.) This is evident from the policies of prestigious and renowned schools to hire highly qualified faculty that can help children to achieve higher marks in the exams (This is the conclusion of the idea. Without a proper explanation of expertise, techniques, methods the idea is incomplete.). In addition, many prominent personalities in the past were inspired by their mentors teachers (Nothing wrong in repeating teachers. Mentors is not the perfect synonym.) to become successful academically. Mr. APJ Kalam was one of shining examples, who was motivated by his teacher to become the (a) a scientist (He was one of many scientists.). Thus, the role of teacher is instrumental in children’s educationParents neither have the expertise to train nor the ability to academically inspire their children. (Make a comparison to achieve task response.)

The question demands a comparison between parents and teachers. The task response will be weak if the comparison is not made.

On the other hand, the social behavior of a child is greatly impacted by his parents and the environment of his home. Children learn how to communicate and socialize with others from their parents. In early years, a child learns by imitating, as it is a human tendency to learn by emulating others, and his brain is extremely impressionable and fertile; therefore, he learns the ways of communication, and etiquettes from his parents unconsciouslyWeak sentence structuring since you’ve tried to compress a number of purposes in the same sentence. Read my article on SENTENCE STRUCTURE to understand how to formulate a sentence based on its purpose. Focus on just one purpose in a sentence. PLUS, a comparison with teachers is missing.

Children learn how to communicate and socialize with others in their home (IDEA Sentence). They learn by copying their parents since they spend most of their time with family members (Purpose – Why copy? Time.). While they spend more than 18 hours with parents every day, the time spent with teachers is only 6 hours (Explain time). Consequently, parents are the source of social development such as table manners, verbal communication, and non-verbal communication (conclude with examples).

Even though he acquires the academic lessons and formal greetings from his school, whether he talks to his friends in formal or informal manners tend to depends upon a rigid or a flexible parenting style (The missing words prevent proper understanding of your sentence. Do not miss words. This costs dearly.). It is suggested by many researches that children from broken and estranged families tend to be more aggressive than those from normal families. Therefore, child’s social skills development is heavily depend on his parents. (A comparison with parents is missing.)

In conclusion, as per my perspective, a teacher can be a great inspiration and influence for students’ educational success but they are greatly influenced by parents in terms of social development as children learn ways of interaction from their parents.

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