Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Reading Entertainment Books Vs Educational Books – 2.

Some parents believe that children should not waste time by reading entertainment books but instead, they should spend the time to read educational books only. What is your opinion about this?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

While growing up, children learn from both the entertainment as well as educational books. It is often argued that children they (use a referencing device to refer back to children in the previous sentence) ought to study only (do not use only with rather than) educational books rather than wasting time on entertaining books since they are more beneficial for the academics studies and professional life of children. (Your opinion is missing. You’ve just stated, “It is often argued“. Inadequate task response.)

The main reason is that educational books are helpful in building the knowledge of children. (1) These books allow children to study the subjects such as mathematics, biology, chemistry in more detail that are being taught in school (The struck off part can conveniently avoided without any change in the meaning of the sentence. Please use this sentence to mention a few examples of subjects. This will make your response more specific.). This not only increases the grasping of the subject but also helps them to excel in the academics. After the completion of school, the stronghold on subjects helps children to get admission into universities to achieve earn higher degrees. Therefore, they should be encouraged to read only educational books to succeed in life rather than entertaining ones as are only useful in refreshing the mind, which can be better done through sports activities. (Comparison well made. Task response is complete.)

1. This is a perfect place for making a comparison between entertainment books and educational booksThe main reason is that, unlike entertainment books, educational books play an instrumental role in building a knowledge base for children. 

Another reason is that educational books help a child in their daily tasks. For example, when a student is students are (pronoun used is plural – themtaught mathematics in school (when students read mathematics books in school, …….), it teaches them the basics such as counting which is useful throughout life in matters related to money. Similarly, science and history books (let us talk about books and not subjects) teach many things from the evolution of humans to the origination origin of their culture (Beautifully put. Precise response.). Moreover, the strong academic foundation helps them later in life when they apply all these years of gained the knowledge accumulated during the past years in their respective fields whether it is for research work or at the job. (You’ve raised a new idea. Please write at least one sentence to elaborate it completely.) For instance, I am an Engineer and the knowledge of mathematics, physics, chemistry, English language that I gained from reading educational books during school help me make technical decisions and communicate with my colleagues.

In conclusion, although entertaining entertainment (need a noun here, not a verb) books keep the child’s interest alive children interested in reading, I believe that they (2) should only concentrate on educational books because it helps these books help in building the foundation of both their academic and professional life.

2. Here’s something students rarely realize but it is a vital concept in English language writing. A pronoun must refer to a noun. In your case, they can not refer back to children since children do not exist in the sentence. Child’s interest exists. But they can’t refer back to it. So, they refers back to books. This distorts the meaning of the sentence.

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