Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Science Should Be Mandatory In Schools.

Some people say that science study should be mandatory in schools whereas others argue it is unnecessary. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

It is often thought that science subject must be taught in schools that since/ because/ as it imparts the virtue of logical thinking in learners. However, some people opine that it is a futile useless (the word futile is used specifically in the context of ACTIONS. It is completely futile to reason with him.) subject since it produces excess burden on the students. In my view, schools should include science in additional subjects so that one can choose it according to one’s interest.

On the one hand, the advocates of science subject hold a view that it develops the skill of rational and logical thinking in pupils. This is because science is based on in logic and reasons, which provides provide (subject = logic and reasons = plural) the evidence about the occurrence of every phenomenon on earth. Thus, by learning this subject, pupils’ intellectual power improves to a great extent, and, consequently, broadens their horizons of perception (The benefit of science can be more clearly mentioned. Thus, by learning this subject, students develop an ability and a habit to think logically in all situations in life.). For instance, Physics, a branch of science, enlightens students about the principles behind the processes such as gravity and transmission of light (1) that take place in their daily lives such as concept of gravity and theory of transmission of light and sound and creates interest and curiosity in them to gain knowledge of various aspects of life, consequently develop their analytical thinkingThis knowledge keeps them away from superstition and allows them to work in a logical manner.

1. Place such as next to the word it exemplifies. Here, it gives examples of processes. PLUS, concept of gravity is not a process. Gravity is.

The idea is clearly stated and you’ve made a nice attempt at developing the argument. However, you’ve failed to execute it well. You will lose bands for lack of proper sentence structuring, inadequate lexical resource (when a student is unable to communicate an idea clearly, it shows her inability to find the right words).

On the other hand, some people believe that science puts excessive burden on the students because most of the concepts of science are quite complex and tedious. Due to which this, students may are unable to understand them (completely) easily, eventually, lose their interest and feel burdensome to study. This may result in weak performance in this particular subject which affects the overall performance of students. To cite an example, being a mandatory subject in school (Nope! – 2) my cousin has to learn science but she finds difficulties in understanding concepts. Therefore, she scores low grades in science which greatly impact her CGPA. (Though she scores well in literature and social sciences, low grades in science drag her overall performance down.)

2. Your cousin is not a mandatory subject. INCORRECT: Being a mandatory subject in school, my cousin ….. CORRECT: Being a mandatory subject in school, science is a compulsion for my cousin even though she dislikes it.

To conclude, although people have different opinions, I think schools need to give a freedom to students to choose science as per their pursuit instead of making it mandatory for all. (Since your opinion is different from the views expressed in body paragraphs 1 and 2, please explain it in one sentence at least.) Only those who are truly interested in it and want to pursue a career in medicine and engineering should choose it. Those who want to pursue a non-science career should be allowed to choose other subjects such as painting, music, and dance.

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