Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Teachers Have A Bigger Influence On Children Than Parents – 4.

When children start school, teachers have a bigger influence on their academic and social development as compared to their parents. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion and relevant examples.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

It is an undeniable fact that the roles which parents and teachers play on in the enhancement of academic and social skills of children are of prominent significance. However, there is a controversial debate among people which one has more impact on kids after the commencement of schools (1). I am agree with this statement that teachers are more influential since they are more specialized and also have more equipment in comparison with parents. (reasons clearly stated)

1. If you wish to write this sentence in an essay, here is a fixed structure: However, people often debate whether X has more impact (a greater impact) than Y doesHowever, people often debate whether teachers have a greater influence on children than parents do. I believe that teachers have more impact since …….

In general, teachers are more accomplished in terms of methods of teaching and informations (plural of information is information) information (knowledge) of educational and social subjects rather than parents (do not use RATHER with MORE. The correct construction is “more X than Y“.). In fact, educating students (teaching students) (imparting education to students) is a specialized skill which can be acquired by some particular courses holding for teachers only by studying teacher training courses. In this these courses they become familiar with the most novel techniques of teaching such as conducting experiments, playing games, holding competitions among students as well as knowledges knowledge (plural of knowledge is knowledge) of various subjects such as science, geography, mathematics, all of which are concerning related to educational and social development of children. On the other hand, parents who have another professions are not qualified in mastering (mastering = qualified) these methods and subjects as same as teachers. (X as Y as Z: parents (X) are not AS qualified in these methods (Y) AS teachers (Z) are.)

Though there are sentence structuring issues and lexical resource problems (singular-plural) in the above paragraph, the arguments are very well constructed. Good job!

Furthermore, teachers have more tools to help children gaining gain an adequate amount of academic and social skills. It is an irrefutable fact that schools are a more conducive place to learn diverse skills rather than homes (2) since they have more equipment. (3) Modern schools have a variety of laboratories and playgrounds which are not available in the children’s home. Thus, while teachers can utilize this equipment so as to educate children about required skills, parents are too limited in this respect. (take this as another point and not a part of the EQUIPMENT point) Firstly Moreover, the classroom is a place which where students come together to learn from their teachers as well as their peers in both individual and group subjects. Team learning, for instance, is one method which can apply be applied only in classrooms and not at homes. (compare schools and homes in each point.) Secondly, modern schools have a variety of laboratories and playgrounds which are not available in the children’s home. Thus, while teachers can utilize this equipment so as to educate children their about required skills, parents are too limited in this respect.

2. This structure compares HOMES with DIVERSE SKILLS. Restructure it to compare HOMES with SCHOOLS: It is an irrefutable fact that, as compared to homes, schools are a more conducive place ……….

3. Wrong placement of sentences. Your idea is about EQUIPMENT. Please write laboratory point next to it.

In conclusion, although parents have a great impact on their kids in terms of instructing moral values, it is teachers who have more required accomplishments and tools in order to educate academic and social skills to children about academic and social skills(You can’t educate skills, you can educate children. BUT, you can impart education/ skills. …in order to impart academic and social skills to children.)

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