Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Culture Is More Or Less The Same Around The World.

Nowadays culture is more or less the same around the world compared to in the past. Is this a positive or negative trend?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Due to the globalization, assimilation of diverse cultures (diverse is a sign of plurality) took has taken place. This has led to an alteration in lifestyles, societal and moral norms (1). Although this development has reduced the diversity of the world’s culture to an extent, I believe this development is a positive one.

1. Parallelism violation – lifestyle = noun, societal and moral = adjectives. This has led to an alteration in the lifestyle of people and a massive change in societal and moral norms.

The main reason why similarity in culture is a positive (beneficial/ useful/ productive – avoid word repetition) change is that it has curtailed the discrimination on the basis of origin. For example, since/ as, in the past, people used to wear their (pronoun not required) traditional dresses, it was not difficult to segregate one community from other as clothes have a strong regional association. (was this a source of discrimination? Note the specific nature of the response in the following sentence: This often became a source of discrimination in clubs and buses as members of certain communities such as Dalits in India were not allowed equal access.) However, nowadays people wear the same type of western clothes such as jeans and t-shirts everywhere that are jeans and t-shirt or western attires, which makes it difficult to judge where a person is from. This is a compelling benefit; particularly in a workplace where the workforce is multicultural because there is less scope for regional discrimination.

In addition, the fusion of cultures has resulted in ease of communication among different countries. As countries have bilateral and cordial ties, it is important to have a common language – that is English – that people can understand. The usage of the English language, which is an integral part of the international culture, has generated jobs in underdeveloped and developing countries. For example in Bangalore, a the silicon valley of India, there are millions of people employed in B.P.O’s where they only have to register complaints from foreign countries in English. Therefore, with (integration) adoption of a new language in culture, various job opportunities can be created. This is indeed a positive development. (Well argued and clearly developed. The response is specific.)

In conclusion, as per my perspective, similar culture in different countries is positive development as it is instrumental in limiting discrimination and creating employment.

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