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IELTS General Task 1 Correction: Discontinue Membership Of Local Club.

For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. Write a letter to the club secretary. In your letter

State what type of membership you have and how you have paid for this.

Give details on how you have benefitted from the club

Explain why you want to leave.

20 minutes, 150 words at least.

Answer:

Dear Mr. Jackson,

I am writing to inform you about the discontinuation of my membership of in your club ‘City Sports Centre’. I need to take this decision since I am moving to abroad with my family.

You’ve made this completely formal and straightforward. Nothing wrong with this approach. There’s an alternative, more friendly, way to convey the same message: I have been a member of your esteemed club for the last one year and have enjoyed all your services. However, my family and I are migrating to Canada and I wish to inform you of my decision to abandon my membership.

Let me explain to you in more detail (No need to write this. The reader understands that you will explain in more detail.). As you know, I have been enjoying your services for last one year through a Premium Membership of Rupees Ten Thousand per annum. I have made payment through net banking. I feel this these charges are quite genuine because during this one year I have gained a lot from your club in relation to my health and my interests as I followed your recommended diet plan and exercise regimen in order to reduce weight to pursue swimming as a hobby (1). This was only the guidance of trainers, due to which I become proficient in swimming. Although I really want to continue my membership with your club, I have to migrate to Australia as I get have received a lucrative job offer from a software company.

1. This sentence is too long and overly complex because you’ve squeezed too many things without using proper connecting devices. I feel these charges are quite genuine because, during this one year, I have gained a lot from your club. (now explain the gains in the next sentence) From the health perspective, your swimming lessons along with the services of a trained dietician have enabled me to reduce weight. 

Thus I would request you to cancel my membership for this year and if possible, kindly refund me the membership charges as per your norms.

I look forward for to your positive response.

Yours sincerely,

RK.

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