Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Nowadays We Have Too Many Choices.

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree to this statement?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Many people believe that these days we have too many options to select in various steps of life. I strongly disagree with this, as we have the right to choose anything according to our feasibility and affordability. (1)

1. Nobody is questioning your right to choose. The question is whether you have a lot of choices or not. If you disagree, it means you believe we need more choices. There is no question of the right to choose. This will impact the task response score. I strongly disagree with this since humans need a greater variety of goods and services.

Previously, there was a lot of competition for a the same type of job (Where does JOB come into the picture? If you’re talking about the “choices in jobs”, you should clearly mention this in the idea statement. Without the word CHOICE, the task response is weak. See 2). Because more and more people struggled to become a doctor or an engineer, and (Do not use ‘and’: Because X, Ymany of them ended up with empty hands. Now, as the advancement in technology has opened up many jobs, people have several options to select any field which matches (3) their interest, compatibility, convenience, and personality. Therefore, people can now become a radiologist, chemist, sonographer, photographer or designer to meet their desires and are able to earn their livelihood survival. (In the introduction, you’ve disagreed that there are many choices. Here, you’ve supported that there are many choices.)

2. Firstly, we need more choices in the type of jobs. Most youngsters still opt for engineering or medical professions and they still have little options for other professions such as tailoring, plumbing, etc.

3. Subject-verb disagreement. Please read my article on this topic – “Subject-Verb Disagreement“.

Moreover, the same principle (which principle? There is no principle mentioned in the previous paragraph. “a lot of options” is not a principle.) applies for shopping (Not mentioning CHOICES will reduce the task response score. Similarly, there is a wide range of goods and services in every country and people ample choices.). As people want their business to flourish, they try to manufacture those products which meet everyone’s criterion of purchasing. For instance, some people prioritize quality over money, while others do the opposite. Some prefer to buy from big shopping centers and others go to small shops. Therefore, different qualities of objects, with a low to high range of prices, are available in the market and people are free to (free to make a choice) choose these on their own. In this way, they are not pressurized to go for a single option.

Okay, here’s what you’ve done – body paragraph 1 is that there are sufficient choices in career and body paragraph 2 is that there are sufficient choices in goods. But that’s not the question. The question is – Whether we have too many choices (that is, we need to reduce the choice overload), OR we do not have too many choices (that is, we need more choices). None of your paragraphs answer this question sufficiently.

Similarly, choosing different types of food to eat decreases boredom. If people get used to a particular food, ultimately this will cause their taste buds to become resistant to that food. As a result, they may start disliking it. Hence, we need varieties of cuisine to add flavors to our life. (Though you’ve developed the argument well, this does not answer the question. Sample response: I think we have do not have many choices in food. To prevent any boredom from a regular, staple diet, humans need a variety of foods. For instance, in North India, people eat Punjabi food and even though Chinese, Italian and American food is available, it is made in Punjabi style. So, it is impossible to find authentic food from different countries. This severely restricts choices.)

In conclusion, I reiterate my opinion that we need choices in our life to live it according to our needs, desires and interests.

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