Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Children Should Start School Sooner – 1.

Some people think that children should start school sooner while others believe they should not start it before the age of seven. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. 

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

The right age to start school starting age (1) is the most debatable topic worldwide. There is some evidence While some people believe (2) that starting school at an early age is beneficial for children due to its positive effects on children’s their demeanor and learning, while others claim, which is similar to my own opinion, I think (2) that it should not be started before the age of seven because of its adverse impacts on children’s personality and physical development. (3)

1. Remember – this is an exam of communication. You’re supposed to communicate the ideas clearly. Sometimes this can be done in a few words. At other times this may consume a lot of words. But the communication should be clear.

2. Let me suggest a standard construction for all “discuss both views” questions. “While some people believe X, I think Y”The I think part includes the view of the other group.

3. Fragment sentence: There are some sentences which are incomplete due to a number of reasons. These are called Fragment Sentences. Your sentence is structurally complete, but it is incomplete from the perspective of IDEA.

It is assumed I believe (I support the view) that school (that schools) can have positive effects on a child’s behavior if starts (what starts? Fragment sentence due to missing subject) before the age of seven (School can’t start before the age of 7. Children can. Alternate sentence – 4). Children’s interaction with other students and staffs teachers (Lexical resource – use the most appropriate word that conveys the message clearly) from an early age helps them develop their confidence and results in the creation of independent behavior which is useful in their life. Moreover, from an educational standpoint, age is a fundamental factor in learning. Research shows that children before age seven can learn different languages and skills easier and faster than the older ones because of the brain’s development age(this is not clear. Brain’s development age?This is because as the age increases, the capacity of the brain to grasp ideas and concepts decreases. (Remember the advice given in point number 1)

4. Alternate sentence: It is assumed that schools can have positive effects on children’s behavior if they start school before the age of seven.

You’ve tried to logically develop the ideas. However, there is ample scope to communicate the ideas more clearly.

On the other hand, other some people acknowledge that involving in a schools’ activities before the age seven is detrimental for child’s personality since the young children can be easily influenced by the older students’ inappropriate behavior and curse language during the recess time at school. Furthermore, kids before age seven are physically too weak to tolerate the long hour school periods (the long school hours) every day and most of them have weaker physical characters strength (wrong word choice) compared to a seven-year old kids. This often leads to physical disorders such as weak constitution, dizziness, and headache. Kids aged seven years or above, in contrast, have a strong body to spend eight hours at school and attend hour-long lectures for languages, sciences, mathematics, and arts. (5) The A (It is one of many surveys – Use ‘A’) recent survey in the UK showed that 40% of kids starting school before age seven suffered from lower height and weight for their ages. (This is not a strong example since there is no established link between starting school before the age of seven and physical characteristics. Instead of writing this example, it is better to explain the IDEA.)

5. Note that you need not always use For example (For instance) to write examples. This can also be done within a sentence using SUCH AS. In the sentence above, languages, sciences, mathematics and arts act as examples for hour-long lectures

In conclusion, although there are advocates in of early age school involvement, I tend to (You have already agreed 100 percent. There is no tendency.) agree with oppositions of (weird construction) disagree with this opinion since it has various negative effects on students’ life and it . It seems to be rational to convince the governments to pass a law to support the best schools’ starting age.

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