Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Foreign Workers Filling Positions Of Domestic Workers.

Bringing in foreign workers to fill positions that domestic workers are unwilling to do can cause problems in the local community and should, therefore, be stopped.

To what extent do you agree with this?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

It is argued that the immigration of foreign workers to fill vacancies that the native workers are reluctant to do, should be stopped as it can cause problems in the local community. I agree with this statement because it can lead to an unemployment (an unemployment problem) and a crime in the local community. (VIDEO Explanation)

Bringing in the foreign workers causes serious unemployment among the local population. Since these workers are cheap and (negotiable working rates communicated cheap very clearly.) have negotiable working rates, therefore, every employer prefers them over the native workers (The correct construction is Since X, Y. Do not use therefore with since.). (1) Moreover, they are always willing to do work under any physical condition for money, so they eat away the jobs of domestic workers, who demand fixed working rates and high standard good working conditions. (2) For example, as per the report of New York Times, there has been a 20% rise in unemployment in the US during the period from 2005 to 2015 (= during the period) mainly due to the large influx of Chinese and Indian workers who are available at lower wages. (who work at less than 50% of the minimum wage.) (Write this example with the first idea.)

1. A lot of repetition of the word worker. Plus, write the idea and example together. This will complete the argument before moving to the next point. STRUCTURING problem.

2. Please explain PHYSICAL CONDITIONS. Lack of explanation will reduce the score.

Bringing in the foreign workers causes serious unemployment among the local population. Since they have negotiable working rates, every employer prefers than over the natives. For example, according to the New York Times, there has been a 20 percent rise in unemployment in the USA from 2005 to 2015 due to a large influx of Chinese and Indian laborers who work at less than 50 percent of the minimum wage. Moreover, they are always willing to work under harsh physical conditions such as cold climate and hazardous industries without any protective equipment. The natives demand better work conditions and worker rights.

Another point to consider is the increase in crime. As the immigrant workers are less loyal to a country, they often indulge themselves in crime-related activities crimes such as human trafficking, drugs smuggling, and terrorism. They do this to make more money in a shortcut manner as quickly as possible. Apart from that, they are even found to be involved in channelizing this money for terrorist activities, which they conduct in order to take revenge of racial discrimination discrimation they face on the hands of from the native people. The horrific attack of 9/11 in the US is a prime example of this, i . It involved all (the use of ALL completely changes the meaning) foreign workers who were working there on a work permit (a lot of work. Reduce repetition. 3) and did this to take out (vent) their frustration against the local population for the atrocities inflicted on their community.

3. This involved a number of foreigners who had been employed in the US and had valid work permits. They executed the heinous act to vent their frustration against the local population for …..

In conclusion, I agree that the immigration of workers from foreign shores ought to be stopped as it hampers the peace and harmony of the local community due to the increase in unemployment and crime level of the local country.

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