Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: New Employees Lack Interpersonal Skills.

Some employers find that their new employees lack in basic interpersonal skills such as lack of ability to work with colleagues as a team. What are the causes of this problem? Suggest solutions.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Please read the sample answer to this question here: Interpersonal Skills of Employees.

Answer:

Many employers have noticed that newly new graduates from colleges and universities do not possess soft skills which are essential for effective communication with their team members at the workplace. In my opinion, the education system in the universities is to blame for this deficiency. Educational institutions ought to focus on interactional skills along with the academic education.

To begin with, students after completing tertiary education lack the soft skills because they spend all their time in universities and colleges learning academic skills related to their disciplines. (The idea statement is clearly stated.) They were are (maintain the same tense – Present) never trained in the universities to acquire the skills which are essential to express their views to others, both verbally and in written language(violates parallelism – both X and Y.)  For instance, when I graduated in MBA completed the MBA in finance in 2015 (when I graduated from the London Business School in 2015), despite of being well equipped with business knowledge, I was lacking lacked (maintain simple past tense) the skills to write an effective email to my work colleagues in my first job. This is because effective communication was never a part in my university course. (The example is nicely developed.) Thus, it is the education system which is (Thus, the education system is responsible for …..) responsible for the deficiency of interpersonal skills.

Despite a few grammar mistakes, the paragraph is well developed. The idea is clearly written and argued. The example is fine and the closing sentence is good. Well done.

In order to develop the soft skills among graduates, universities should make a mandatory requirement to have group discussions in the classrooms. Students should explain ideas of their written papers to the peers rather than simply uploading online for a teacher’s review. When they would discuss their views openly in the groups, they would get criticism, and defending that criticism their ideas would help them to learn persuasive skills. (The idea of discussion is thoroughly explained.) In addition, universities should arrange regular student visits to companies during the term time. This would help students to learn the soft skills by observing the verbal communication between the colleagues in these companies.

In conclusion, I believe that educational bodies need to step up and bring about reforms in their teaching methods to equip their students with (the correct combination is equip with) the most demanding effective communication skills for their career success.

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