Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Spend On Railways Than On Roads.

The government should spend on railways rather than on roads. To what extent do to you agree or disagree?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Roads and railways are the two biggest modes of transportation all over the world. It is suggested that the government should invest money in on improving railways instead of roads. I partially agree with this statement because roads transportation carry carries as much importance as railways. Let us delve deeper into this in the following paragraphs.(Yes, you will delve deeper. That is the purpose of the body paragraphs. No need to state this.)

To begin with, there are several benefits of allocating funds towards the development of the railways department. (Let us develop the railways, not the department.) Primarily, most of the interstate trades in most nations is are (trades = plural) carried out via trains. Therefore, if well operating and fast moving trains are available, this certainly boosts will boost (If X (present), then Y (future) construction) the trading business, (no comma here) which ultimately strengthens the economy of the a nation (the economy is specific, but the nation is not). Another benefit of an improved railway system seems to be is that it helps reduce traffic congestion on roads. To elaborate, although trains can carry more number of passengers than any automobile can (1) in one trip go, most trains are too crowded to be the first preference of anyone. Thus, if more money is spent on increasing the number of trains and boosting the quality of rail travel, more passengers would prefer railways over roads, especially for long distance journeys. Hence, the aggravating problems of road accidents, traffic congestion and automobile pollution due to highly crowded roads can be curbed by this.

1. Do not compare Apples and Oranges. Let us compare the “ABILITY with ABILITY” OR “AUTOMOBILE with AUTOMOBILE”. Although the trains can carry …… than any automobile can in one trip …… OR Although the trains carry ….. than any automobile in one trip …..

Though there are a few grammar mistakes, you’ve made an excellent attempt in developing the arguments. Good Job!

Nonetheless, the road transport system is also immensely important, so the statement that the government should not invest on in roads appears to be groundless. This is because road transportation it (referencing device) is one of the most frequently used modes of transportation. According to a survey by the Highway Authority of U.S, around 70% of workers in the U.S used use (keep present tense unless you mention a year in the past) automobiles for commuting to their offices. Therefore, unless roads are well maintained, the journey of a large fraction number of citizens would be bumpy and uncomfortable. (Well developed argument.) Besides, the increasing road traffic problem not only creates chaos in the travellers’ life but also wastes their precious time. Thus, it is crucial that money is invested on in alleviating this problem by constructing new highways, long bridges, and wider roads (parallelism – new, long, wider are adjectives. Hence, parallel.). For instance, after the construction of national highways in Punjab, a state in northern India, road toll congestion has dropped by 24%.

To conclude, undoubtedly, railways not only help enhance the trade business of nations to flourish but also provide a convenient, faster way of traveling. However, the need to construct new roads and maintain the old ones cannot be overlooked. In fact, both railways and roads should be given an equal share of importance and funds for a balanced development of the infrastructure of a nation.

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