Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Computers Used In Education – 1.

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

40 minutes, 250 words at least

Answer:

Nowadays, computers are being used as the powerful tools to impart education. While some believe that this is beneficial as students can learn acquire (obtain) academic information from anywhere, others argue that this can lead to a deficit of in communication skills. I agree with the latter view.

Use the most appropriate words – you can learn a subject or a skill, but you can’t learn information. You can acquire it or obtain it.

The structure of the introduction is good. You’ve mentioned the reasons supporting each view.

On the one hand, some favor that computers provide detailed educational information to learners in no time. The topics related to any subjects, (any subject = one subject. Can’t give multiple examples of one subject. Do not put a comma before such as.) such as science, history, law, and economics, are all available on different websites, f . For example, Wikipedia and Wikihow, and are only a click away (There is no significance of this example unless you explain how wikipedia and wikihow help in getting detailed educational information. Let us combine the ideas in a more structured manner: The topics related to science, history, law, and economics are available on different websites such as Wikipedia and Wikihow.). Secondly, some teachers post their lectures online on Facebook groups and YouTube. These are easily accessible to many students irrespective of their geographical location. Therefore, a computer is the fastest and the most convenient source of educating people.

Contrarily, On the other hand, I agree with the view that technology-based learning is growing pupils who lack soft skills preventing the adequate development of soft skills. (L.R mistake since you’ve not used proper words to express idea. T.R issue since the idea is not clear.) Most lecturers who teach online (Task Response – Let us stick to computersdemonstrate their lectures lessons (avoid word repetition (L.R) – lectureusing Microsoft PowerPoint or Word. This allows infinitesimal interaction between students and teachers. Teachers do not carry out group discussions since demonstration through projectors is the easiest way to explain lectures to the students by showing pictures and animations. As a result, the students fail to develop interpersonal skills which otherwise they would have learned in the classrooms tutorials. Hence, these individuals they (the pronoun – they – refers to students in the previous sentence. Let us keep using it for reference.) face difficulties in interacting in an interview or with their colleagues at a job.

Though there are issues in proper expression of ideas due to sub-optimal use of words (lexical resources, pronouns, task response), the ideas are well developed and argued in a logical and specific manner. Good Job!

In conclusion, even though computers participate efficiently in providing efficiently provide (computers can’t participate – lexical resource) knowledge to the people, I believe, that using them in education leads to a deficiency of communication skills which are far more important to enjoy a career.

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