Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Fine to Use Animals for Benefit – 2.

A growing number of people feel that animal should not be exploited by people and they should have the same right as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs including uses for food and research. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Whether the animals should be employed for human needs or not, (no comma here) has been a topic of debate since ages. Many people oppose the use of animals for human requirements and demand equal same rights for the animals as for humans (the correct construction is “same X as Y.”). I strongly believe that this call is not possible due to the practical ingenuity needs and humans beings the superior creatures on earth.

Ingenuity = a clever way of thinking.

To commence with, animals have the right to live and sustain their lives. They should not be killed for the unnecessary wishes of other creatures. Animals are a crucial part of the ecosystem and their presence is vital to maintain the balance in the biosphere. Disruption of any one species can lead to an imbalance of various food chains. Also, they are sensitive and, being a living organism, (1) they feel pain, exuberance, and other feelings. So, they should be treated well. For instance, a study carried out by WHO reveals that animals such as dogs, cats, and chimpanzees have strong emotions of anger, fear, and happiness exactly like humans have(The right comparison – animals have – humans have.)

1. “Being a living organism” is not a part of the main sentence. It is a modifier for pronoun THEY and should be placed between two commas.

Nevertheless, it is undeniable that humans are the greatest and supreme creation of God. For their sustainability and needs, animals have been used since time immemorial. The use of different beasts to carry out different various scientific experiments for medicines and cosmetics is unavoidable since, otherwise, (put between two commas) we would not get to know the effects of these drugs and products.  Moreover, it is practically impossible to grant equal rights to animals. For instance, imagine (if = imagine) if dangerous animals such as lions and tigers get the right to live without human interruption, they can prove to be a threat to the humankind. So, I think this is virtually unfeasible impossible to provide human rights to animals.

The arguments in both body paragraphs are well developed. The task response, cohesion, grammar, and lexical resources are adequate. There are a few mistakes of grammar, as I’ve highlighted above.

To conclude, though animals are a living entity with feelings and are essential for the maintenance of the ecosystem, I strongly advocate their utilization for the betterment of humankind. However, this should be contained within certain viable limits to avoid the over-usage and unnecessary killing.

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