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IELTS Essay Correction: A Few People Earn High Salaries.

In many countries, a few people earn very high salaries. Some people think that this is a positive thing for the country. Other people believe that governments should not allow salaries to be over a certain level. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

There is no doubt that the salaries of few people in many countries of the world vary (the question is not about variation) in rates (no mention of RATE in the question.) (1). While some people believe that there should be an appropriate limit on the wages of the workers executives (2), I would argue that extremely high compensation rates are beneficial to a/the society.

1. Make the right comparisons and use the most appropriate words – There is no doubt (Undoubtedly), the salaries of a few individuals are extremely (exorbitantly) high as compared to those of most of the population.

2. You’ve used the wrong word. It is about discrepancies in salaries. A few people (that is, executives, CEOs) are earning a lot. But the masses (workers) are merely surviving. 

On the one hand, those who believe in the notion of not allowing people to gain earn (use the most appropriate word) salaries beyond a certain amount argue that this is important to decrease the gap between people’s social status. This is because (sometimes cohesion is implicit. No need to force it in all sentences. If it is invisible, you will earn more bands.) imposing a standard rate of wages promotes equality between everyone and ensures justice to every person employed (sentence structuring issue.) (3). For example, in the Philippines, celebrities, politicians and some prominent personalities earn salaries that shoots shoot beyond the appropriate rate (what is that? 4) becomes and become richer as compared to those who perform more significant jobs such as doctors, engineers, teachers, soldiers who are only receiving minimum wages and find it hard to meet both ends. (5) (How is this wrong or unfair? See point 4.) This is greatly unfair, therefore, (The sentence is over. Please understand that every sentence has a purpose. Once the purpose is over, the sentence must end. You’re not explaining UNFAR after this point.) . Therefore, it is important for the government to control the salaries of every worker to limit the gap between the rich and the poor and to eradicate inequality.

3. The reader (examiner) will clearly understand how a cap on salaries brings economic equality. But how does that lead to justice? Either explain it or avoid writing it. Plus, what is the benefit of economic equalityImposing standard wages for everyone promotes economic equality which reduces the feeling of economic injustice and the incidents of depression and crime.

4. Ambiguity will hurt your score. Write precisely. For example, in the Philippines, some celebrities earn more than 1000 times of the average salary of a worker. A government study has held this gross inequality responsible for the falling levels of motivation among workers and the resultant loss of productivity(Explain how this is unfair.)

5. You’ve used WHO twice. There is a way to avoid it in this sentence. Plus, doctors are not an example of a job. It is a profession. …. as compared to doctors and teachers who perform more significant jobs, yet they earn far less and find it difficult to meet both ends.

On the other hand, my view is that huge compensation (for whom?) for a few individuals is essential for a country to be progressive. The reason for this is that The people who are earning earn more salaries can also pay higher taxes to the government which can be useful in increasing the standards of living of the general masses its people (distinguish these people from the previous people). For example, Filipino celebrities who usually earn millions of pesos a year will have to pay 20% of their yearly income to the government as tax. These taxes collected from all celebrities can already be are beneficial in constructing new public infrastructures, improving current public transport systems and maintaining public facilities (perfect parallelism! Good.). Thus, a high salary rate can positively affect a country and definitely uplift the people’s way of life living standard(way of life is different from living standard.)

In conclusion, although controlling the wages of the people can reduce the possibility of widening the income inequality between workers, I believe that giving people the freedom to acquire salaries without limits is far more beneficial and just.

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