Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Spend Money For Looking Life On Other Planets.

Some people want the government to spend money for looking life on other planets, however, others think it is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth that the government should be solving. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

While some people want governments to allocate funds to find life on other planets, others argue that there are more important aspects problems (issues) of the society such as extreme poverty, abysmal health care, poor infrastructure (1) that needs to be addressed. I agree with the latter view.

1. Mention a few names in the introduction. This should be like icing on the cake.

Throughout times, the human race has been eager to prove search for the existence of extra-terrestrial life. This is primarily due to the fact that human activities such as illegal dumping of wastes into bodies of water water bodies and illegal extensive (large-scale) logging have been continuously depleting the natural resources of our planet. Hence, some scientists feel the need to find a possible planet that has the potential to cater for life. Apart from this, some people also support space explorations because they also benefit from the scientific innovations that had been developed (Incomplete. Developed for what? Your sentence means that only a few people benefit and only those who benefit support the space program. The example states otherwise. Please make sure that the idea and example communicate the same idea.) (2). For example, the radiant barrier, which was invented for the astronauts’ comfort to keep them warm in their expeditions, is widely used today for insulating homes.

2. Moreover, many products developed for space exploration have been used for the benefit of humans on the earth. The technology used for carrying satellites and humans to space is being used to keep our homes insulated from extreme cold and heat. Also, this space technology is being used to test various medicines that are later consumed by humans to cure various diseases. (Note that I’ve given examples without using ‘For example’.)

Nonetheless, some argue I support the view that it is just a waste of financial resources. This is mainly because, despite several space programs for the past 50 years, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration has failed to prove the existence of other life forms in the outer space, and there are other serious problems (the problems are not other) on earth that need immediate attention. For example, although Russians contributed immensely to the exploration of the moon, the Russians they have still been suffering from poverty. A study conducted by the World Bank in 2017 found out that nearly 20 million of them are surviving on wages which are below the poverty threshold. Instead of spending a vast amount of money for space exploration, governments can allocate the budget into addressing to address poverty through by generating jobs for the people or increasing their minimum wages.

The idea in BP2 is much better developed (TR is good) than BP1. The comparison is perfect. Cohesion, LR and GR are good.

To conclude, I agree that the pursuit of humans to prove life outside our planet is a total waste of finances. Governments should firstly prioritize people’s welfare by addressing economic and financial problems such as hunger and poverty.

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