Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Global Environmental Damage.

Reducing global environmental damage should be handled by governments rather than individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree? 

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Environmental destruction has been is one of the most pressing problems the world is facing nowadays. It is proposed that the appropriate body to handle this problem is the government rather than the individuals. I partially agree with this as even though the government plays a crucial role in curbing environmental damage, every individual serves is responsible for to any issue pertaining to the environment. (The introduction is well constructed. The use of even though is good.)

The governments can be held responsible in for any problems problem (any = singular) of the environment to some extent (The right preposition with responsible is for.). This is because it is only the government who have which has (the correct adjective pronoun for government is which. Plus, Subject-verb mistake – government is singular, use HAS.) the authority to create, pass and implement laws to be followed by the public. For example, the Philippine Government is currently imposing laws such as for banning deforestation, illegalizing littering on the rivers and ocean and limiting unplanned conversion of forests into agricultural lands and subdivisions which helps help in protecting the environment. (perfect parallelism! LAWS = plural, use HELP. Not HELPS.) If the government will does (1) not strictly impose these laws, individuals will not feel responsible to take actions in reducing activities that leads lead (subject-verb mistake) to environmental damage.

1. If-then clause is a conditional. That is, there are CONDITIONS. It means “If A happens, B will happen” Or “If A happened, B would happen.” Or “If A had happened, B would have happened.” The first is for present tense, the second is for past tense and the third is for past perfect tense. Your sentence falls in the first category.

You’ve made frequent SUBJECT-VERB mistakes. Please take a serious note as this will severely impact your grammar score. 

The argument is very well developed in the paragraph above. But, there are frequent grammar mistakes.

Furthermore, it is also the duty of every human being to take care of the environment. Even if how many (2) laws are implemented and how many programs are initiated by the government to stop people from exploiting the environment, if people will still do not abide then these measures will fail (3). Every individual must also work hand in hand in the reduction of the damaging activities to the environment as it is only by cooperation and willingness of every individual to commit themselves to solve environmental damage can this growing problem be properly addressed(Whoa! Hold your horses. This is too long and complex. Break it into easily digestible parts. PLUS, this is vague. EXPLAIN it in a specific manner.) Moreover, individuals need to cooperate to reduce the intensity and number of ecologically disastrous activities. For example, Filipinos in Manila recently decided to clean all the beaches in the city and they formed groups of volunteers to collect garbage. This action of the civil society was able to achieve in one month what the government had failed to do in 20 years.

2. You can use how many with no matterNo matter how much I scold him, he refuses to mend his ways. You can’t use how many with even if.

3. Even if is used to express that something will happen despite something else that may prevent is. You’ve used it correctly. However, you’ve made a mistake in the IF-THEN part. See point 1.

In conclusion, I believe that the role of the government is vital to reduce environmental damage, but it also needs the cooperation and submission (I guess we’re not looking for submission of individuals to their governments) of every individual to the laws implemented in implementing the laws to save the environment.

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