Answer Checking

IELTS General Task 1 Correction: Advice About A Problem At Work.

A friend has written to you asking for advice about a problem at work. You have had a similar problem in the past. Write a reply to your friend. In your letter:

  1. Tell your friend you understand the problem.
  2. Explain what happened to you in the past
  3. Suggest possible solutions to the problem

20 minutes, 150 words at least.

Answer:

Dear Sameer,

I received your letter this morning and got to know that you are facing some issues at work and would, therefore, . Since I have been through similar situations in my professional career, I would like to suggest some possible solutions. (Why would you like to suggest possible solutions? The question says that you’ve faced a similar problem. MENTION this in the introduction and EXPLAIN in a body paragraph.)

As you know, I had (The use of past perfect tense is incorrect here.) joined a new company last year, and I was finding found it hard adjusting with the new work culture and my colleagues (1), so . So, I can understand your the (1) situation and the stress you must be experiencing at the moment.

Please understand the right place to stop one sentence and begin the next. The paragraph above consisted of one sentence only and that sentence is more than 40 words long. That’s really long. The examiner will lose track of the message. Break it into easily digestible parts.

1. Violates parallelism. In former, MY is a pronoun and it has no parallel in the X part (X and Y). Colleagues is a noun and it is parallel to work culture. Similarly, the stress is not parallel to your situation. Your is a pronoun, the is an article.

Although, (no comma here. Correct construction is Although X, Y) it was a reputed company with a good client base, I was finding it difficult to work in a multicultural environment, (no comma here) since I was experiencing this type of environment for the first time. (2) Also, my colleagues were not so friendly, maybe because I was shy and didn’t interacted interact much with them.

2. There can be two types of constructions with SINCE. One involves a comma, the other does not. Since X, Y; X since YKeep this difference in mind while building a sentence.

I’d I would like to suggest that you try to be friendly and polite with all your co-workers because it will help you to settle in the new workplace quickly. Moreover, I would advise advice (advise is a verb, advice is a noun. Here you need to use a verb.) that you be patient and take your time till you get comfortable with the culture of your new company.

Anyway, (3) I look forward to hearing from you soon.

3. Anyway seems strange here. It means “irrespective of what has been said earlier”. I guess that’s inappropriate here. You should write in a manner that invites the other person to seriously consider your proposition and reply. Something like: I eagerly look forward to your reply.

Warm wishes,

Sam

Numerous grammar mistakes (particularly punctuation) in the letter.

Follow this blog and like our Facebook page to learn exciting new essays and cue cards. You can contact me HERE.

Please subscribe to my Youtube Channel.

Contact me for writing a polished and effective Statement of Purpose.

Contact me for Editing Services and Document Writing Services.

Advertisements

4 replies »

  1. Hey i really appreciate what you are doing.. this correction method is very helpful.
    Im wondering if i could send you an essay to correct me.. my test is in the 1st of Nov. And i want to make sure that i can get the desired score.

    Like

    • Dear friend, thank you for contacting me. The time is too short for me to be of any assistance. Please take the exam with the present level of preparedness. If you’re not able to achieve your desired score, please feel free to contact me.

      I sincerely hope you achieve good bands. Best Wishes.

      Like

  2. In this letter, at one place you corrected the contraction of I’d to I would. I think this is an informal letter. Should we use contraction in informal letters? Does it lower the band if contractions are not used?

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.