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IELTS Essay Correction: Tax Private Car Owners To Improve Public Transportation.

In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Traffic congestion is one of the major problems faced by most cities today. The proposed solution is for the government to impose heavy taxes on private car owners and utilize this in these funds for improving the current public transportation system. This planned action may limit car dependency and reduce car-induce pollution. However, it is not the most effective method to solve traffic and can negatively affect car industries (automobile industry).

One benefit of imposing a huge amount of taxes to tax on private car owners is that it encourages them to use public transportations and limits (it = singular. Subject-verb disagreement) car dependency. As the taxes collected from car users make public transportations more comfortable and convenient to the public, people may opt for it than instead of private cars (“OPT for” is a great comparative device. However, it is used with rather than or instead of.(1). Moreover, this proposed measure leads to a reduction of car-induced pollution. Cars are one of the top contributors of to air pollution as they emit hazardous gases to the environment such as carbon monoxide, nitrogen oxides and hydrocarbons to the environment. (Place such as next to the noun it modifies.) If there is a decline in on the number of cars usage (usage is uncountable. You can’t use number with it.) and increase on the number of people utilizing public transportations, it is easier to can attain leads to a cleaner environment and less congested roads. (2)

1. Logical Flaw: How does tax collected in one area improve services in another area? Establish a clear and direct link. One benefit of imposing a huge amount of tax on private car owners is that it encourages them to use public transportations and limits car dependency. Governments should use these taxes to invest in public transport infrastructure such as air-conditioned buses, comfortable metro trains, monorails and ensure their adequate availability during peak hours. With such comfortable and convenient modes of transport, people will opt for them instead of private vehicles.

2. Your idea sentence is that this measure leads to a reduction in car induced pollution. HOW? You’ve explained car-induced pollution. But you’ve not established a link between “increase in taxes” and “decrease in car induced pollution“. Imposing heavy taxes on private vehicles will increase the cost of purchasing and running a car. This will motivate them to use economical modes of transport such as a bus and, thus, will reduce car-induced pollution in cities.

You’ve raised two points and tried to explain them. However, the explanation is incomplete.

However, imposing heavy taxes to on car owners cannot totally solve traffic jams as most people who own cars have them for work purposes. For instance, medical representatives need to own private cars to be able to safely deliver medications to purchasers as using public transportations may take longer time, causing which may cause damage to medicines and lead to inactivation of vaccines. (3) Therefore, imposing high tax rates may not stop some car owners to use from using cars and traffic may still be a problem. Secondly, since purchasing heavy taxes cars may only add a financial burden to on a few individuals, they may be discouraged to purchase more cars thus that may negatively affecting affect car companies. (The use of THUS is incorrect. There is no connecting device between reason and conclusion. Use that as a cohesive device.) This has a domino effect on to the people employed as these companies may find it hard to support employees if there is a decline on in sales.

3. Longer time is leading to two things – A. cause damage; B. lead to. Connect these with longer time through WHICH.

You can write this example in BP 2: Ever since the imposition of green tax on all private vehicles in Australia, the sale of new cars has plummeted by more than 20 percent and more than 100,000 workers have lost jobs.

A lot of preposition mistakes. Make a list of your preposition mistakes and revise it regularly.

In conclusion, although this solution may result to in a cleaner environment and better transport systems, it cannot effectively address traffic congestions and can even harm car industries leading to massive (widespread) job losses a loss of job for some.

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