Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Fail In School, Successful In Life.

Some people fail in school. But end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What are the most important things to succeed in life?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Before writing this answer, you must define success. What is success for you? This will help you avoid repeating the word SUCCESS. I assume that by success you mean ‘financial achievement‘.

An excellent school performance is said to be a determinant that a person will succeed later (will = later) in life. However, there are a few people in society, who failed in school but became successful rich and famous (The use of a comma divides the sentence into two parts. Let it be a single sentence.). In my opinion, academic achievements contribute only a tiny portion in success financial gains and it is only by realizing one’s potentials and developing them that a person can achieve genuine economic success.

NOTE: As mentioned above, you first need to clearly think the meaning of success to prevent its overuse.

Being able to pass in school cannot completely tell guarantee if a person will become successful in life or not. In school, students (need an Apostrophe here) performance are is rated by their ability to get high scores in examinations, memorize every page of a book, understand various theories and concepts, or how well they create impressive school projects. (parallelism – get, memorize, understand are verbs; how is an adverb. Replace it with create. … ability to – get… ; memorize ….; understand ….. and create …..) All these will determine their academic status even without considering some factors that may affect their scores or performance such as sickness, financial problems or personal issues. (1) Therefore, educational institutes cannot accurately measure the capacities of individuals to become successful in life.

1. I can’t understand how this sentence proves that schools do not guarantee success. Let me write a sentence that connects with the previous sentence and proves that schooling is not necessary for success: These (refers back to abilities in the previous sentence) are merely theoretical in nature and do not teach children how to solve practical, real-world problems. Students who fail in school, on the other hand, are more practical in life and they understand how to earn money by solving problems. This guarantees economic (financial) success.

In order to succeed in life, (= as these are ….. achieve success) I believe that one must first discover his potentials as these are extremely powerful tools to gain economic independence and comfort. achieve success. It is only by knowing what your capabilities are where that you can create specific, achievable goals leading to success. For example, Bill Gates, who became one of the richest persons in the world, failed in school but believes believed in his potential to contribute to the business computer (Business is not an industry. Computers, automobiles, paper, fashion are.) industry s . So he persevered to create Microsoft which became the world largest company in 2010. (= success) became successful. Another perfect example of a person who can justify that success is not only about school performance is Simon Cowell, he (2) . He is a very successful person in the field of entertainment and music despite of failing in school.

2. Please understand when to end a sentence. The previous sentence’s purpose was to introduce Simon Cowell. That’s it. The purpose of the next sentence is to define him.

This paragraph is about “what are the most important things to succeed in life?” I can see one point – knowing your capabilities. Then you’ve given the example of Bill Gates to substantiate this idea.  I can’t see any such ‘important thing’ in Simon Cowell’s example. Why did he succeed? Lack of task response.

In conclusion, passing in school cannot guarantee a successful life and failing in school  that does not mean that a person will not have any chance to succeed.

Follow this blog and like our Facebook page to learn exciting new essays and cue cards. You can contact me HERE.

Please subscribe to my Youtube Channel.

Contact me for writing polished and effective Statement of Purpose.

Contact me for Editing Services and Document Writing Services.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.