University students always focus on one specialist subject, but some people think universities should encourage their students to study a range of subjects in addition to their own subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
40 minutes, 250 words at least.
has (Singular verb has does not agree with plural subject universities.) long been great places to learn. However, (1) there has have (You’ve again used a singular verb has with plural subject debates.) been debates about (missing preposition) whether university students should focus on one subject (there are better ways to write) gain expertise in one domain only, or they should be motivated to learn more about other subjects also subjects other than what they study as their major. (Use fewer words to express the same idea.) Although, traditionally, (2) students focus (overuse of the word focus) on one subject, (overuse of the word subject) I totally agree with those who suggest students (a student) ought to learn more about other subjects simultaneously due to various reasons. (3)
1. Overuse and wrong placement of cohesive devices reduces bands in the IELTS exam. There is nothing that suggests a contrast between the first and the second sentence. The use of however is incorrect.
2. Whenever a word (or phrase) sets a stage for the sentence, it should be kept separate from the main sentence through a comma. These words include – undoubtedly, however, moreover, traditionally, etc. This is a punctuation mistake.
3. Once you’ve written sentence 2 on both views, you need not to mention both views again in sentence 3. Just mention your view. NOTE that I’ve avoided word repetitions by writing things very specifically (the underlined portion). There have been debates about whether university students should gain expertise in one domain only, or they should be motivated to learn other subjects also. I believe that students must have some knowledge of different areas of life, society and economy to live a balanced life.
reasons reason why students should be encouraged to learn beyond their major is that it aids them to be successful later in their career. This is mainly because professions, nowadays, are closely related to each other. In reality, many work projects will merely be feasible when different specialties specialists/ professionals are able to efficiently work together efficiently. (Specialties can’t work together. Specialists can. There are some redundant words – later, work, merely.) (Never split the infinitives – to + verb – with another word. Use efficiently at the end.) If every contributor have has (Another plural verb have used with the singular subject every contributor.) some basic information about other’s job, that will lead to better collaboration. For instance, medical engineers need to know about different steps of surgeries apart from their own (4) engineering subject to be able to run sophisticated apparatus such as robots incorporating in activities such as a robotic surgery.
4. Tautological phrase – their own convey the same meaning twice. Tautological phrases convey the same meaning more than once and this is considered incorrect from LR perspective. Other similar combinations are: I personally, personal talent, etc.
You’ve developed the arguments well. However, there are numerous grammatical issues in the introduction as well as body paragraph 1.
The other reason is that (Let us use fewer words to switch to the next idea. Also, avoid the repetition of other.) Moreover, learning about other subjects assists (plural subject assist does not agree with singular subject learning.) students to have a better understanding of the application of their own (tautology – as mentioned above) lessons. In fact, (5) mastering a wider wide range of information gives them a better perspective in learning and broadens their views. For example, visual artists who possess a comprehensive knowledge of computer will understand and be able to apply their talents in the digital world (redundant – does not impart meaningful information. This leads to repetition of the word digital.) to create digital art.
5. Words such as in fact, basically, actually, as a matter of fact are considered FILLER phrases. They do not add any meaningful information and make the sentence longer. Formal English language writers consider this as a mistake.
In conclusion, in my opinion, learning about different subjects plays a key role in
success of building a successful career for the students in their future vocation where . They need to collaborate with a versatile range of specialists to accomplish a project. In addition, it helps them to have a better understanding of the practical utilization of their own subjects.
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