Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: News Accompanied By Pictures.

News stories on TV and in newspapers are very often accompanied by pictures. Some people say that these pictures are more effective than words. What is your opinion about this?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Nowadays, photographs have become the an integral part of news stories. Many people believe that the pictorial presentation of news is these more effective than textual presentation. (Avoid word repetition. Use a pronoun instead.) I agree with the above statement as photos and videos has have helped the news industry by improving the interaction with readers.

Undoubtedly, pictures attract the attention of an audience, t (1). The use of photos and doodles in the news articles make it them (plural pronoun for plural subject – articles) more convincing than the usually written ones. People are compelled towards reading the whole news after seeing an impressive visual along with it. (2) For example, Hindustan Times newspaper (3) has a dedicated column for social issues. They show half the issue in the form of a suspense doodled comic and the other half in a textual form which attracts the reader to go through the full article in order to understand the full issue completely(Avoid word repetition – full)

1. These are two independent clauses. You can’t connect them with a comma. They must be written as separate sentences. Please read my article on SENTENCE STRUCTURE.

2. Note how sentence structure can be improved. You’ve used a synonym – impressive visual – in place of picture. But, that’s not a perfect replacement. Also, you have written passive voice which is wordier than active voice. Note that in the previous sentence I have used them to refer back to pictures. Let me continue using that pronoun family. They compel people to read the full news since the text is monotonous and boring.

3. Let us create a modifier. The Hindustan Times, a famous Indian newspaper, has ….

Moreover, conventionally written articles and news stories on TV television sometimes tend to bore the readers (plural subject – plural pronoun themwhich leads them to lose their interest in between during the news. For example, recent study by the Times Magazine shows that HBO news channel, which follows traditional news reading from the screen, (4) has only 12% views. Whereas, India TV shows the news its reports in the form of story enacted by hired professionals and it has 98% of the viewers, which is a big difference.

4. When you plan to add information in the middle of the sentence (that is, the main sentence is divided into two separate parts), present the information as a modifier (that is, use two commas). Your main sentence is: A recent study by the Times Magazine shows that HBO news channel (modifier enters) has only 12 percent views.

In Conclusion, I believe that including pictures in the news can play a pivotal role in gaining/attracting reader’s attention to a particular topic. Pictures can also They tell a story more vividly and make comprehension easier.

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