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IELTS Essay Correction: Prevention Is Better Than Cure.

Prevention is better than cure. Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Disease and related disability caused by it, (avoid word repetition – causecause a lot of burden to a person and nations all over the world. While (1) researching and spending (2) a lot of a significant amount of (avoid word repetition – a lot) money to find a cure by countries (no need to write this – redundant words) have been questioned in recent years. Simple habits like washing hands before eating food explains us the importance of prevention is better than cure(3)

1. Wrong use of WHILE. It is used in two situations – A. At the same time. While my brother was playing, I was studying. B. To express contrast. While studying hard it good for the career, it results in weak eyesight. Note that WHILE needs TWO statements. You’ve not done that.

2. Lexical resource mistake: Your sentence means – researching money and spending money. You can’t research money. That’s incorrect. Correct structure: Spending a lot of money on research to find a cure has been questioned in recent years.

3. The importance is of prevention. Not ‘prevention is better than cure’.

There are numerous sentence structuring issues in the introduction. Remember, lack of clear communication due to poor structure impacts your score in other areas as well.

In today’s world investigators and scientists have gained more importance. A good amount of money is spent on constructing laboratories, finding new bacteria, and viruses causing that cause various diseases. Studies are going on to test the natural course of the a disease, (you’re talking about “A” disease. Not a specific disease. Wrong determiner.) laboratory tests to find it which are expensive. (4) Earth has a changing environment and new diseases are going to come up in the future. Nevertheless, governments are expanding this area of research at the cost of people’s daily needs. For example, in my country India there are other larger more significant (larger and more are comparative devices. They need than to compare with something else.) problems of unemployment (employment is not a problem, unemployment is.) and poverty than (more X than Y) that of curing diseases, s (5). So, rather than studying new diseases these problems should be sought first.

4. The sentence is incorrectly structured. Here’s a breakdown: Two things are EXPENSIVE – STUDIES and LABORATORY TESTS. You MUST use and to connect the two. It is expensive to conduct (A) studies on the natural course of a disease and (B) laboratory tests to detect its presence.

5. These are two independent clauses. They have different purposes and they can’t be connected using a comma. Prefer a full stop (period). Another student has made this mistake. Please read the point number 1 in this essay: News Accompanies By Pictures.

Lost task response in BP 1. It is supposed to be about “how prevention is better than cure.” You’ve written only about the cure – that it is costly – and other problems should be solved first. Compare CURE with PREVENTION (not other problems) to develop proper context.

Some people say prevention is better than cure. (Body paragraphs are meant to discuss opinions. This is a sentence for the introduction.) Prevention can be done by in many ways such as eating healthy food, doing daily exercise routine, maintaining personal

hygiene and so on. (6) Phrases Look before you leap will surely explain this thought. (This sentence is not strong as it does not convey any idea. Avoid it.) Chronic illness like hypertension and diabetes are emerging in large numbers (7), t (wrongly connected two independent clauses – 5). This is due to sedentary lifestyle and inactivity which have increased in recent years. According to a survey, if people of India don’t do not adapt to healthier lifestyles, (comma needed) 40% of India’s population would will be diabetic by the year 2040. (8) Simple techniques like walking, yoga, meditation would help decrease the possibility of having diabetes in genetically predisposed people. Medicines and complications arising from diseases can be largely avoided.

6. Parallelism issue: A, B, and C – the first words of A, B and C should belong to the same family. Here, let us make them verbs in ing form – eating, doing, maintaining. Read the Rules of Parallelism

7. Illness is an uncountable noun. It can not be in large numbers (countable). Chronic illnesses like hypertension and diabetes are impacting the lives of a large number of people.

8. “If, then” clause: If (present tense), then (future tense – will). With ‘do not’, you should use ‘will’. Note that there is a comma between If and then.

To conclude, slowly people are getting aware of disease processes and ways to decrease there their occurrence. Prevention would largely help reduce familys’ and nations burden in view of expenses and losses due to workers absenteeism. This would altogether help in building countries economy.

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