Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Become Famous By Featuring Online Or On Television – 3.

Nowadays an ordinary person can become popular through the Internet and TV media. Is it a positive or negative development? Give your opinion and relevant examples.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

These days it is quite easy for a common an ordinary person to become famous through social media and television. I believe that this is advantageous as it helps people to earn money and reveal their hidden talent.

First and the foremost benefit is that Firstly, (write concisely. Use fewer words to express the same idea.) ordinary people can make a large sum of money using Facebook and YouTube applications. They make various videos to entertain the audience. The more views, likes, shares and comments the videos obtain, the higher is the income of the video creator. Sometimes even companies such as Samsung and Sun Silk offer them to promote the company’s products by adding paid advertisements in between the content. For instance, Zaid Ali, Rahim, and Sham Idrees share their humorous Vlogs on YouTube and earn more than 4000 dollars monthly. Therefore, such people get a positive outcome for becoming well known on the Internet.

The arguments in the above paragraph are logically developed and the sentences are well structured. The ideas are specific and clearly communicated using proper lexical resources.

Furthermore, not only the affluent but also the underprivileged get the opportunity to show their talent. Most of the poor ones individuals cannot afford the rich platforms to explore themselves. Easy and inexpensive access to the Internet allows them to uncover express (show) their artistic skills, however. (There is no contrast that necessitates the use of however.) For example, Mohammad Arif, a wall painter, has become a renowned singer just after the popularity of his video of after his video mimicking great singers became a sensation. Now he sings in Coke Studio, an internationally famous singing platform of Pakistan. Likewise, several other dancers, painters, and actors are able to display their abilities through these media.

The arguments in the above paragraph are logically developed. There is some scope to improve sentence structure.

In conclusion, in my opinion, the trend of becoming notable through television or the internet is extremely beneficial. This allows people to make money and explore their undiscovered skills in front of the public.

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