Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Ordinary Art Labelled As Masterpiece.

To be labeled a ‘Work of Art’, a painting, sculpture or other art forms should display certain qualities that are unique. However, over the past century, there has been a decline in the quality of prize-winning artwork and it is now possible for quite ordinary pieces of art to be labeled ‘masterpieces’ whilst true works of art pass unnoticed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Some people hold the belief believe (write concisely) that the quality of artworks has decreased over the past century, and there are many ordinary arts labeled as a masterpiece. (1) However, (2) I disagree with this belief since there are no rules for arts them and the art sense is subjective.

1. Note that in the first sentence there are two independent clauses. They have different messages (purposes) which are not dependent on each other. Don’t connect them with a comma. Use a connecting device (AND) instead.

2. Wrong cohesive device. “HOWEVER” indicates a contrast with the previous statement. “DISAGREE” also indicates a contrast. If you have used the latter, avoid the former.

The introduction is well structured with an opening statement and you’ve MENTIONED the reasons supporting your opinion.

To begin with, (you’ve already begun with the introduction.) the definition of art has changed changes (wrong tense. Keep both as Simple Present Tense.) as times goes by. The ordinary artworks in the last generation may be considered as a masterpiece in the current century. For example, Van Gogh, we have considered him who is considered to be one of the most influential painters, (3) was unappreciated at his time and even did not received recognized recieve recognition (GR issue) during his life. In other words, currently, some artistic works are considered as ordinary pieces or low-quality, h . However, it may change in the next generation or even next year. (You can not connect two independent clauses through a comma. When two clauses have different purposes and none of them is dependent on the other, separate them through a period (full-stop).)

3. This is a modifier. A modifier is a clause that given additional information about a NOUN in the main sentence. It is NEVER a complete sentence. Please read my article on MODIFIERS.

Another reason why I believe the present artistic works are not inferior is that it is only the small group of critics that believe so. (4) The definition of art is varies (LR issue) from person to person. There are no criteria to classify art as high or low quality. People should respect to artists and have no right to judge others for their sense of beauty. If one artwork is not appreciated by a small group of people, it does not mean that others have the same perspective. Therefore, it is inappropriate to regard artworks as low-quality. (The arguments are logically developed. Good job!)

4. Your sentence is too wordy. Write concisely. There is no need to write “Another reason ……is that”. LR issue: Moreover, only an insignificant minority of critics believe that there is a fixed criterion to classify art.

By way of In conclusion, as the definition of sense of (LR issue) beauty is always changing and also very is (parallelism issue) subjective (Incomplete sentence. The right construction is “As/ Since X,Y.” There should be a comma instead of a period.)  , I believe that all types of art should be respected and people should not label the artworks as higher or lower quality.

Please take care of parallelism. Read my article on Rules of Parallelism to understand it in detail.

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