You have worked for a company for a short time during your college course. Write a letter to the head of the department expressing your gratitude. In your letter you should
- Thank to the head of department
- Explain how this has helped you
- Say what your future plans are
20 minutes, 150 words at least.
I am writing to extend my
sincerest sincere thanks for all the support and guidance you provided me during my internship in your organization.
(You can avoid ‘I am writing to’ and make your letter more original. Doing an internship in your organization was a fruitful experience and I wish to express my gratitude to you for giving me this opportunity.)
Being a student of Pharmaceutical Sciences, I got an opportunity to complete my six-month training in your pharma company.
Your acceptance of me as an intern meant (sounds weird) During this period, I was able to learn gained (write concisely. Choose the less wordier option.) the practical knowledge and handling of sophisticated equipments, which is necessary to learn in order to (redundant words. Deleting them makes the sentence more clear and concise.) flourish career in the research industry. (Among all industries, you are talking of a particular industry – research. This is specific and, thus, demands the use of determiner the.) I have gained a lot of confidence while working there, and I am extremely grateful for the teachings.
If you had not given me a chance to get hands-on experience, I would not have been able to acquire these invaluable skills.
Moreover, (1) Consequently, I have a plan planned to enter into the pharma industry as a drug analyst, for which I have applied in various pharmaceutical firms. Thanks to the reference letter that gave me , i . It would add weight age to my curriculum vitae. (You can’t connect two independent clauses using a comma. Use a period (full-stop).)
1. Wrong cohesive device. This is not the next point in a series of points. This is ANOTHER point which seems to be a consequence of the previous point.
Once again, please accept my warmest thanks. Yours faithfully,
The letter is weak in cohesion (wrong or weird cohesion at a few places). Also, writing unnecessary words impacts your LR score.
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