Answer Checking

IELTS Task 1 Correction: Borrowed Something From A Friend.

Write a letter to a friend. You have borrowed something from your friend and it got damaged. 

1. Apologize for damaging the product.

2. Explain what happened.

3. Say how you are going to fix the issue.

20 minutes, 150 words at least.

Answer:

Hi John,

I hope this letter finds you well. I want to confess here that by mistake I have (that event began in the past and ended in the past. Do not use Present Perfect Tense.) overused your camera in the rain due to which it has stopped working now. (HAS includes NOW.) I am extremely (incredibly) sorry for this. I did not mean to harm destroy (harm, when used for a noun, is used in the context of a living creature.) it, but I was stuck in an unfavorable situation. 

It happened when me I and my wife (prefer this order: my wife and I) was were on a tour to Shimla. I was using your camera to click some pictures while roaming around the famous lake road. Suddenly, (1) heavy rain started and we had no way to cope up with it. We both were carrying a backpack on our shoulders. In a worry of saving my stuff, (1) I forgot that your camera is hanged was hanging on my neck. We were running here and there desperately (We were running helter-skelter in …..) in the rain to find public transport to travel back to our hotel. Once we reached there, (This is exactly what I’ve explained in point 1. You’ve done it correctly here.) we realized that the camera had stopped working.

1. Separate the introductory phrase (word) from the main sentence using a comma. It is used to set a background for a sentence. Similarly, “In a worry of saving my stuff” is an introductory phrase.

But I want to assure you that I will return your camera in a full fully (Working is a verb. You need an adverb here. Not an adjective.) working condition. I have consulted with a mechanic here. He guarantees that he’ll fix it in 2-3 days. I have already submitted it and, once I get it back, I will rush towards you to return it promptly return it to you. 

You’ve developed the ideas in a very specific manner. Good job. However, there are numerous grammar issues and a few lexical resource mistakes. You can choose better words in several places.

Yours faithful

Abrahim.

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