Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Imported Food Or Local Produce? – 1.

Nowadays food travels thousands of miles before reaching consumers. It affects the agriculture and economy of the destination country, and for this reason, people should prefer food produced by local farmers. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answers and include examples from your experience.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Exporting food is one of the biggest (most significant) revenue sources (One of requires a plural noun.) for national an economy (for a country). A fair amount (1) large number of people believe that it impacts farming and related revenue in destination countries so . So, local buy is a good option to avoid exorbitant pricing. (2) I do not completely agree (wholly agree/ entirely agree) with this thought as a nation cannot fulfil the demand of for every food commodity. (Using the right preposition is important to communicate the message. Demand of somebody; demand for something.)

1. AMOUNT is uncountable in nature. Use it with uncountable nouns – amount of sugar, amount of water. People are countable in nature. It is better to write A number of people.

2. Hold this thought. Firstly, this is an introduction. You do not need to write a concluding sentence (So ……). Secondly, there seems to be no connection between impacts farming and exorbitant pricing. If there is a link, establish it clearly in the body paragraph. Otherwise, you will lose the coherence score.

To embark on, (3) India does not produce enough dry fruits and it depends on Afghanistan for Almonds and Cashews, and other Dry fruits. At the same time, Afghanistan receives the best in class sugar from India. If India would (4) starts growing cashews locally, farmers will have (face/ encounter) many (myriad/ numerous) obstacles such as climatic conditions, technology, and funding. This will eventually lead increase the price of the final product. This quid-pro-quo (This is not quid pro quo. This is trade. India is not giving sugar in return for dry fruits. There is a process of sale and purchase.) trade between nations is essential to balance the demand and supply from consumers and supports the economy as well (and = as well. This counts as repetition.).

Although, (wrong comma placement. See 5 below.) cross country import and export through long haul transportation takes time, (5) but officials try to keep it on time by using best logistic options such as freight rail or cargo flights. Manufacturers also use best in class technology and organic preservatives to keep the items fresh. How intriguing it is intriguing to enjoy fresh food from different nations at an affordable rate.

3. You’ve already embarked on. There is no need to write this. It will reduce the cohesion score as you’ve used a cohesive device unnecessarily.

4. If, Then clause: The IF part is in the present tense. The THEN part is in the future tense.

5. Wrong construction. Do not use but with although. The correct construction is Although X, Y.

However, some of us say people believe that why consumers should not pay additional taxes on imported items and nation should not depend on other countries while government can help local farmers to cultivate such corps locally. (You’ve raised two issues in the previous sentence. However, you’ve explained none. Also, you’ve linked the issues with the consequences in the same sentence. Please explain additional taxesdependence on other countries and help local farmers.) (6) They think that it can be a good idea to procure locally which will further boost the financial condition of the country.

6. Let us take the first issue: Food securityHowever, some people believe that a country should not depend on others for food security. If it relies on others to feed its population and they refuse to do trade with it, it may experience food conflicts. Consequently, governments need to help local farmers to meet domestic food demand. Then raise the next issue: Drain of wealthMoreover, reliance on imported food results in payment of money to foreigners. This leads to the movement of money out of the local economy and, as a result, the local population becomes poorer.

To conclude, while some people support the idea to capacitate own agricultural industry to prevent repercussions of importing, I see the potential of having good trading relations with neighbouring and other nations so that need for extensive commodities can be answered with economic salvation.

Note that this is an AGREE/ DISAGREE essay. You need to STATE your opinion and EXPLAIN it. Do not explain the OPPOSITE opinion (as you’ve done in BP 2). You need to EXPLAIN your opinion only. Otherwise, you will lose the Task Achievement.

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