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IELTS Essay Correction: International Tourism Is A Bad Thing.

Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their own countries. What are the reasons? What are the solutions to change negative attitudes?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Recently, global tourism has developed significantly, and many people are concerned that it negatively affects their countries. I believe that this negative attitude towards international tourism is rooted from in (.. tourism stems from ….) some deleterious effects tourism causes to the countries. (It is better to MENTION the deleterious effects.) The government can take some measures to alter this thought.

Recently, global tourism has developed significantly, and many people are concerned that it negatively affects their countries. This is primarily because it leads to space constraint in urban areas and massive environmental degradation.

Infrastructure for tourism such as residential areas, recreational facilities has been built to serve visitors. These types of construction have taken up enormous areas of forests, agricultural land, which has resulted in the destruction of habitats of animals and led to environmental degradation. habitats of animals, resulting in environmental deterioration. (1) When visiting tourist destinations, travelers purchase and consume products, and then (2) . This generates tonnes of waste which pollutes the local environment and destroys the local beauty. In addition, foreigners always bring their own culture to the tourist locations, some of which are not suitable for local people, especially youngsters. For example, western people (the westerners) often show their affections in public or wear short clothing clothes (dresses) when visiting Asian countries. It is culturally inappropriate for young generations in these countries to imitate these lifestyles. (You’ve raised three points and argued each of them logically and specifically. Good job! There are a few suggestions to improve sentence structure.)

1. Note the sentence structure: A leads to B and C. Connectors – which, and.

2. Do not create a compound sentence using the same connector twice (and). Let us break this into two sentences and use a pronoun (this) to build cohesion.

However, (3) I think the government can conduct media campaigns to raise awareness of their its (subject = government = singular) citizens about the positive aspect of worldwide tourism for their hospitality industry by conducting some campaigns on the media. Citizens will realize that overseas visitors help boost their economy as tourists pay for accommodation, food, and leisure services which create employment opportunities and incomes for indigenous inhabitants. Furthermore, governments should also establish several regulations which ensure that foreign travelers have to adhere to and respect local customs, traditions, and lifestyles. The obedience of visitors to for local culture This (write concisely. This also promotes cohesion in your answer.) will definitely help reduce the animosity of indigenous residents. (Alternate sentence: This will play an instrumental role in bridging the cultural gap and prevent any possible conflict.)

3. However is used to express contrast between two statements. A solution is not a contrast of a problem. This is incorrect.

In conclusion, multinational tourism is detrimental to local cultural identities as well as the environment, leading to locals’ hostility towards the travelers. Nonetheless, informing local inhabitants of economic benefits of tourism, and improving regard of visitors to local cultures could mitigate this enmity. 

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