Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Cold Weather Conditions.

Some people prefer cold weather conditions, while others don’t. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

It is common to find people talking about their preferred season of the year. Some people admire the winters while there are some who others despise it and wait eagerly for summers. (It is better to link a belief with the reasons supporting it. – 1) I think the decreased daily activities of masses and chance to participate in winter sports could be a reason to like this weather season while lower possibilities to do outdoor activities and general dullness during winter can make it less ideal for others.

1. Restructure: Some people admire the winter season since it decreases economic activity and offers opportunities to participate in winter sports. Others despise it as it decreases possibilities for outdoor activities and makes the environment dull.

Weather is different from a season. Winter is a season. A season lasts for several months. Weather is a daily, sometimes hourly, event.

Generally, the winter season is calm, (wrong comma) because of the decreased movements of people in the streets. Due to lower temperatures, many people try to (2) limit the time they spend outside and try to rush to their destinations as soon as possible. This results is lower levels of in moderate activities in the streets and gives a sensation of offers/ creates peacefulness and calmness. Meanwhile, it gives offers/ provides great opportunities to winter sports enthusiasts to enjoy skiing, snowboarding and other games like that. I am personally from that group of people who like the peaceful environment of this part of the year and like to go to skiing with friends For example, every year I visit the Himalayas (Alps/ Rockies) during winters to enjoy the calm weather and do some skiing. This refreshes me to pursue career during rest of the year. 

2. Avoid repeating try toLimit is a verb and it can comfortably replace try to.

Though the arguments are well developed, there is scope to write a better personal example. Also, you can use better words to express ideas.

On the other hand, many people despise the winter season because they cannot do outdoor activities and overall calmness around them lowers their energy levels. It could be a challenge for a person who has a habit of running or meeting friends at open places to spend this time, and many fell feel that the empty streets are depressing. For example, one of my neighbours is fond of cycling, and he gets upset from the deserted streets when temperature decreases in the New York City and, even with proper equipment, struggles to battle the cold winds during his rides, even with proper gears.

The idea is well developed. Good job!

In my opinion, overall quietness and winter sports can make winter season quite pleasant whereas decreased movements in the streets and the inability to pursue hobbies which require moderate weather can be factors (3) to dislike it.

3. Hobbies is not a factor. ‘The inability to pursue hobbies’ is a factor.

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