Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Parents Obliged To Immunize Children.

Some people believe that parents be obliged to immunize their children against childhood diseases while others think that individuals have the right to choose not to immunize their children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

According to some, parents ought to get their children vaccinated against certain infections as it helps in the eradication of childhood diseases, o . Others oppose this since people have the right to choose it for the betterment of their children. I agree with the former view. (The introduction is clearly and precisely written.)

On the one hand, I believe agree with the view (I support the view) that it is the duty of parents to immunize their children. (… parents have a duty to immunize their children.) Because of it, we are have been able to remove the deadly disease, smallpox, smallpox, a deadly disease, from the world. If parents are not compelled to vaccinate children, a few diseases may persist in the society. (logical development of ideas is missing. Give an idea statement before writing an example.) A country like Pakistan, where people do not allow the polio workers to vaccinate the children against poliomyelitis, has been unable to prevent protect them from this paralytic disease. Moreover, every child has the right to live a healthy life. Epidemics of measles and mumps result from spreading of the infections, which can be easily and effectively stopped using MMR vaccines in the early childhood. Therefore, vaccination is extremely necessary to give rise to a healthy society and, ultimately, to a disease-free world(The first part of the question is NOT about whether vaccination is necessary. It is about whether parents should be compelled to immunize their children.) – Loss of task response.

On the other hand, some people think that vaccinations cause illness and, sometimes, deaths. 1 in 10000 live attenuated vaccines such as influenza and varicella can become active inside the body and lead to infections. (So, do they have the right NOT to choose? State this clearly. – TR.) So, parents, in consultation with doctors, should have the right to avoid the vaccination of their children. In addition, injection of mishandled vaccines might prove dangerous for children. There are certain conditions to be followed before its application, which if not obeyed may cause the death of the people. For instance, in Russia, an incidence of casualties of babies was reported due to the injection of a high dose of warm Hepatitis B vaccines. Hence, to prevent from illness (Or to protect children from illness), parents can choose to not to vaccinate their children. (You’ve raised two points. Remember to conclude each point separately to develop a proper task response.)

Important note on articles: Remember this construction “a/an/the X of Y”the death of the people; an incidence of casualties; the injection of a high dose of Hepatitis B.

In conclusion, since the disadvantages of getting immunized are rare and accidental, parents should immunize the children to eradicate childhood diseases and to prevent their spread.

Follow this blog and like our Facebook page to learn exciting new essays and cue cards. You can contact me HERE.

Please subscribe to my Youtube Channel.

Contact me for writing a polished and effective Statement of Purpose.

Contact me for Editing Services and Document Writing Services.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.