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IELTS Essay Correction: Rise of E-Books And Decline Of Paper Books.

With the rise of e-books comes the decline in paper books. Some people see this as a good forward step while others do not. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Answer:

Nowadays, a rapid increase in the number of electronic books (1) has resulted in a decrease in the availability and sale of paper books. Many people consider this as a positive change because of their availability and environmental friendliness, others think this has numerous detrimental effects.

1. You can’t increase books. You can increase the number of books.

One major advantage of the rise in e-books is the availability of these this trend is the online and offline availability of e-books 24 hours. (There can’t be a rise in e-books. This is different from rise OF e-books. Refer to point 1. Let us use THIS trend to avoid repeating number of e-books.) People do not have to endure the difficulty of carrying multiple big (= bulky) bulky books in their backpacks, especially while commuting from one place to another. (2) They can download and store various books in their smartphones, and refer to them with the just a few clicks. Moreover, unlike physical books, electronic books do not require natural resources such as water and wood chips for manufacturing, unlike physical books (3) which makes them an eco-friendly commodity. For instance, a recent report by Times Magazine stated that e-books have contributed to a 6% reduction in deforestation in the year 2018.

2. This sentence is NOT an explanation of the previous IDEA sentence. The idea sentence is about online and offline availability of e-books. The explanation is on the bulkiness of paper books. Sentence 3 is, in fact, an explanation of sentence 1.

3. Note the correct place for comparison. You can’t compare manufacturing with physical books. You can compare electronic books with physical books. Let us restructure. 

Despite the above advantages, there are various detrimental effects, of the rise in e-books, (wrong comma placement. Will impact the GR score.) on society. One problem is Firstly, continuous usage of electronic devices like smartphones or laptops for book reading will leads to eye diseases such as weak eyesight, dry eyes, regular irritation, and many more. For example, according to a recent study published by the WHO says (do not use says with according.) people who spend more than 90 minutes on screen per week, (wrong comma placement) are more prone to eye problems than those who do not. Another negative point to consider is Moreover, limited to no access there is a limited or no access of e-books to for those who do not own high-end electronic devices. For example, since 20% of Indian youth do not have smartphones, and they cannot access the books that are only released electronically. (There is a cause-effect relationship here. Let us connect it using “Since X, Y“construction.)

In conclusion, e-books are much handier and nature-friendly at the same time (= and) (the use of much demands a comparison) than paper books, . However, the inability to access knowledge by some unprivileged and the harmful effects on eyes of people cannot be ignored.

There are numerous sentence structuring, punctuation and grammar mistakes. Though you’ve developed the arguments in a logical manner, the above-stated issues will prevent you from achieving the desired bands.

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