Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Managers Alone Should Make Decisions.

Some people think that managers alone should make decisions in a company, while others think that employees should be involved in the decision-making process too. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Decisions play a critical role in shaping up any business. Although some people think that these should be taken by the company leaders (executives) only since they are more experienced and can be held accountable as well (= and), others believe that workers feel motivated and remain connected if they are also engaged in the process of decision making. I consider that the criticality of the judgement decides, whether employees can be involved or not I think the involvement of employees depends on the importance (level) of a decision.

Though the introduction is well structured, you need to use words that convey an idea clearly (criticality vs importance). Also, note that a sentence is an active voice conveys the idea more clearly than the one in a passive voice (can be involved).

On the one hand, it is often argued that managers are more experienced than junior employees such as engineers, clerks, supervisors, etc, t (1) Therefore, the onus lies on their shoulders to take the final decision. They are well versed with the ins and outs of the company in terms of its trade policies and trade partners. (2) Also, they are capable of foreseeing the ramifications in case of a wrong decision. (can you explain this? – 3) Furthermore, driving the decisions from the top management brings a lot of accountability. The person involved in this process understands that he may suffer from huge mental and monetary loss if the decision goes haywire. For example, the Kingfisher airline got bankrupted because of the wrong decisions taken by its chairman, Mr. Vijay Malaya, who has been declared absconding by the government of India since 2016. In this case, the police department has not taken any lawful action against any employee. (This example is the opposite of the context of this paragraph. The paragraph is about managers making the right decisions. The example is about the management making the wrong decision.)

1. These are two independent clauses. They can’t be connected using a comma. Please use a full stop. Also, you should try to write more specifically (engineers, clerks). More experienced than whom? If you use a comparative word ‘more’, please mention both the things you plan to compare.

2. There are better ways to structure a sentence: They are familiar with the policies of a company and know its vendors and clients.

3. Does this mean that employees can’t see the ramifications of their decisions? Only managers can? If yes, you need to write this to develop a proper context. The question demands comparison. Also, they are capable of foreseeing the ramifications of a wrong decision. Employees, on the other hand, have a limited understanding of the company and its environment in which it functions. They can not see the whole picture. For instance, only a manager is capable of seeing the financial, regulatory, environmental ramifications of an engineering decision. An engineer can not do so.

Some people, on the other hand, assert that the worker’s viewpoint must be considered as it motivates them to perform better. Whenever any employee recommends his point of view, he feels himself as an integral part of the organization. He gets motivated when his ideas see the light of the day, and this, in turn, bolsters him to do the best in his job. (This idea is clearly explained. Good job!) For instance, I was asked on some cost saving measures which (avoid repetition of which by developing a better sentence structure) On request of my company’s manager about cost-cutting measures in the engineering department, I have submitted to my manager a detailed report which he has presented further to the board of directors after adding his own suggestion which . This has resulted in the annual saving of Rs 3 Million to my company.

The example can be better structured. Also, you’ve not mentioned that you are a junior employee. Moreover, you’ve used only one device (which) to connect three clauses. I’ve offered an alternative structure to avoid this repetition.

To recapitulate, even though experience and answerability are the key reasons behind manager’s involvement, employees often perform enthusiastically if they also have a say in the final call. I believe that the calls which are not of very high intensity routine decisions (write concisely) must be taken while considering the recommendations of employees whereas the critical decisions which may have an impact on the whole organization starting from peon to the CEO (Redundant. No need to write this.) should be taken by the business managers only.

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