Answer Checking

IELTS General Task 1 Correction: Travel For Summer.

You are going away to travel for the summer. A friend will be looking after your house while you are away. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter:
– say where you are going
– describe your house
– explain some of the things your friend must do to look after your house.

20 minutes, 150 words at least.

Answer:

Dear Joe,

I am happy to hear that you will be available to stay at my place for a week. I wish I could plan my summer vacations with you, instead of leaving you behind. I will plan some time to spend together once I will be am back from India, though. (THOUGH is used to express DESPITE in the same sentence. It is not used to compare two separate sentences. I know he will come, though I do not know when.Let us spend some time together at my home once I come back from India.

In fact, (1) I planned my summer vacations to one of the famous places in India a long time ago. I am going to Ladakh region which is some one of the highest areas from Northern India. (2) This place has no road transportation in is inaccessible (during) the (use better words to express) winter time and visitors only go to can see these magnificent mountain ranges in the summer only. One significant location, a lake, in the Ladakh area has always been on the top of my ‘to-do’ (A lake can’t be on a to-do list. Visiting a lake can be.) (3) list. I will spend one night at the lake as well.

1. In Fact does not express anything. Also, it does not act as a connecting device. There is no purpose. Redundant.

2. You’ve used two sentences to express one idea – visit to Ladakh. This has also resulted in the repetition of “one of the ….. places“. I planned my summer vacations to Ladakh, one of the highest and most famous tourist destinations in India, about a year ago.

3. Restructure: I will also visit Pangong Tso, a beautiful lake where I have been planning to visit for a long time.

Anyways, (Wrong connecting device. There is no need for a connector here.) Let me tell you a few things about my apartment. It has an open kitchen area and, in the drawing room, there is a big window overlooking the golf course. I have left the keys (keys for what? Logic flaw – lack of coherence.) behind the door (the door means a specific door. However, it is not clear which door. Grammar mistake.) and in case you need to spend some time at in the balcony, you can use the same key of main gate. (The ideas expressed are not clear. This will cost you coherence score and task achievement score.) I hope you will like the master bedroom and you will be able to enjoy the uncapped internet facility here.

Alternate: During this period you will need some crucial information about the house. This is a three bedroom house with an open kitchen and a marvelous view of the golf course. You can enjoy the morning and evening tea in the balcony. The key to the door leading to this area is above the refrigerator. The master bedroom has a smart television and its remote is in the first drawer of the study table. 

Just keep two things in mind. Set the washing machine timer before you use it and do not forget to check any letters and envelopes with the security guards. They tend to lose every item that the residents are supposed to receive. I hope you will enjoy the stay.

See you in one week.

PR.

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