Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: One Big Traffic Jam.

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past 30 years that many cities in the world are now one big traffic jam. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

The problem of traffic jam has increased tremendously across the globe and cars are the leading cause of it. I believe this is entirely true. (1) The government can take various measures to encourage people to use public transport so that the number of cars on the road can be reduced which, in turn, minimize the prevent traffic jam. (LR issue: You can’t minimize traffic jams, you can prevent them.)

1. You have not completely answered the question: How true do you think this statement is? You MUST mention the reasons why cars are the leading cause of traffic jams? You’ve not answered this question in body paragraphs as well. Loss of task response.

Cars are an individualistic mode of transport. (IDEA 1) Unlike buses and trains, they do not work on a sharing basis and everyone uses a car for personal transport only. So, while a bus in India can carry about 50 passengers, these individuals need 25 cars even if they travel in pairs. This leads to traffic jams on roads. Moreover, unlike a cycle, cars occupy a lot of space. (IDEA 2) While both are individual modes of travel, the latter need more space than the former. The space of one car can accommodate more than 10 bicycles. Thus, they are an inefficient mode of travel.

Firstly, public transport should be improvised (2) improved so that its usage can be increased among people (… so that people can be encouraged/ motivated to use it.). The government can introduce new buses and trains to accommodate more people. This will reduce the rush in already running load on existing/ operating vehicles and, thus, make them safer since the incidents of pick-pocketing will be less. Consequently, the confidence of people will increase and more people will start using public services. For instance, a recent report in Times of India stated that after the introduction of new high-class air-conditioned buses in Delhi, the number of cars on the capital’s roads have dropped by 10 percent. more people have started using DTU buses because of which twenty percent fewer cars were seen on the roads.

2. Wrong word: Improvise = Invent something.

Though the argument is well developed in the above paragraph, you need to use better words to improve the score in LR.

Moreover, the government can introduce various schemes that force people to share their cars on the same route. On average Usually, everyone has an office timing of from 8 am to 6 pm. (Usually is better in this context. Correct construction = from X to Y.) Many people from nearby areas use their own vehicles to commute to and fro (To and fro is not used with a preposition. He was walking to and fro.) from to the same office. If they start sharing their conveyance, congestion on roads will decrease, and people will save some bucks. For instance, the government of Delhi has introduced an ‘Odd-Even rule’ which allows cars with an odd number to be used run on odd dates and vice versa (Vice Versa = odd dates run on odd cars. Incorrect.) and even number cars to run on even dates only. This has not only reduced the percentage number of cars on the road but also encouraged people to share their vehicles. This The scheme was such a huge success that even after its completion termination, people continued to share their cars.

The above paragraph is not needed. You should write only one paragraph for suggestions. The argument is logically developed. This will fetch you a good score in TR and CC. LR is a bit lacking.

To conclude, I believe that if the government increases the quantity of public transport, and encourage people to share their vehicles, they (referencing issue. What does they refer to? It should refer to government, but it refers to people.) it can successfully control the traffic on roads. Since it will be a win-win situation for everyone, the trend will continue for a long time.

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