Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Convenience Foods And Modern Lifestyle.

The rise of convenience foods has helped people keep up with the speed of the modern lifestyle. What are the advantages of this trend? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Answer

There has been a drastic change in people’s lifestyle in the past few years, and everyone has become busier than before. In my opinion, the advantages of this (1) trend far outweigh its drawbacks since the availability of ready-made meal has benefited society to keep up with their modern way of living by saving their saves precious time. (Reserve all forms of explanation for the body paragraphs.)

1. This refers back to “busier lifestyle”. There is no mention of convenience foods. THIS TREND must refer to convenience foods. Restructure the sentence: In the past few years, people have become busier than before and they often consume ready-made meals instead of home-cooked food. I think the advantages of this trend far outweigh its drawbacks since it saves precious time.

It is evident that (2) Undoubtedly, convenience food is readily available in the market, and an individual can eat them it right away without putting any extra efforts. (3) This saves the time spent on cooking a full-fledged meal, and the saved time can be utilized in many other productive tasks such as painting, sleeping and working doing recreational activities (such as = example. Do not give activities as an example of tasks. You’ve not given an example.).  For instance, instant cup noodles are easily available accessible, and people can eat them immediately by simply adding hot water in it. (4) In addition, ready-made meals are budget friendly affordable (avoid repeating budgetfor the people who live on a tight budget. Since (I can’t see any use of since in this sentence) there are many local food stalls available in the market who sell food at a cheaper rate (cheaper than what?) than home cooked food for the working individuals and university students.

2. Let us pause here and reflect. When you write the word ‘evident’, it means you are planning to present evidence in support of your claim. You’ve done nothing of that sort. It is better to use more comfortable words such as undoubtedly.

3. The writing is not as specific as it should be. What do you mean by right away? What is the meaning of extra effort? It is better to write as: … and an individual can readily consume it without any hassle of purchasing raw materials, adding spices, and cooking. (= extra effort)

4. Okay. But what is the advantage? You must mention that in the example as well. For instance, instant cup noodles can easily be consumed in an office or while working on a laptop by simply adding hot water to them. Cooking food, on the other hand, takes more than an hour and deviates attention from work.

On the other hand, this trend has some drawbacks. Many people think that convenience food available in the market is unhealthy and unhygienic which leads to various serious diseases. The food stalls in the open market are often not clean and have uncovered food that attracts flies and dust. (explain basic hygiene in a specific manner.) do not maintain basic hygiene, and the packed food is often not fresh. For instance, according to a recent report, three out of 10 ten people who consume the ready meals frequently are suffering suffer from heart problems. But, if extra care is used while buying the convenience food, one can avoid all the these diseases since there are a variety of healthy options also obtainable in the market such as green salad and boiled food in the market. (Place such as next to the word it exemplifies – healthy options.) These can replace the unhealthy choices of grilled and oily food.

In conclusion, the benefits people have by saving time spent on cooking and utilizing it in other important tasks have the benefit of saving time and utilizing it on other important endeavors has a significant edge on the drawbacks of this trend since a variety of healthy packed meals are also available in the market.

There are a few sentence structuring issues in this essay. This should impact the GR score. You’ve developed the ideas in a logical manner. This should help you score well in TR and CC. However, the response loses specificity at a few places. This will lower the TR. 

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