Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: New Houses Built In Same Style As Old Houses.

Some people think that new houses should be built in the same style as older houses in the local area. Others disagree and say that local authorities should allow people to build houses in the styles of their own choice. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Blueprints of any new construction or renovation are approved by the area supervisors. While some people say that these blueprints should have the same old design as it is convenient for everyone, others believe that people should have the freedom to build houses based on their own choice as it is their property. I agree with the latter view. 

The introduction is well written with clear ideas and reasons. It scores well on TR, GR (sentence structure), LR and CC.

Construction of a new house with a design similar to the other that of the existing ones houses (You can’t compare design with a house. Compare design with design.) in the colony eliminates any human error that an amateur person can do. He may construct a building of three to four storeys in an earthquake-prone area which will increase its chances of falling down during the event of any natural disaster. (Falling includes down.) This scenario is dangerous not only for the people of that house but also for their neighbors. Whereas, by following the design provided by the authorized department an individual can avoid the risk of any such mishappening. This is because their blueprints are made by veteran architects who consider a variety of risks associated with that particular land and then form a design which is efficient in all aspects. 

A very well developed argument. The sentence structure is good and grammar is fine. Cohesion and coherence are adequate. Good job!

On the flip side, some people believe that everyone has the right to live in a house built according to their preference. Time is changing fast so as and so are the priorities. Traditionally, people used to construct constructed (built) homes with a lot of windows for the purpose of (no need to write this. Redundant.) ventilation, whereas, nowadays everyone is using prefers (uses) (avoid repeating usean air conditioner, s . So, windows are replaced with glass or cemented walls. Also, earlier people use to park parked (avoid repeating usetheir vehicles outside their home, but now, due to the increased risk of theft, they construct a basement for the parking this purpose. Thus, any such modification in the design need-based design modifications should be permitted by the concerned authorities if it is not raising any major they do not cause any hazard to the people of the local community. (Note that you’ve used the Present Continuous Tense at two places in this paragraph and I have changed it to the Simple Present.)

The arguments are well developed. However, there is a scope to write better by choosing the most appropriate words.

To recapitulate, I believe that any alteration in the design of new construction should not be a problem for local authorities provided it fulfills all the risk mitigation measures. It allows people to build their houses as per their necessities which makes society more stable.

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