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IELTS Essay Correction: Work From Home.

Today, lots of people have their own computer and a telephone, which have made it easy for them to do a job at their home. Does working at home have more advantages or more disadvantages?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

It is irrefutable that computers and mobile phones are ubiquitous these days. A significant (significant = important.) large number of people use them to do their official work from home. In my opinion, while I (I = in my opinion.) accept that there are some disadvantages of this phenomenon, namely the development of an individual (Development can’t be a disadvantage.), I believe that this methodology of working is largely advantageous for the people in terms of the flexibility (flexibility of what?) and economic benefits (be a bit more specific) it offers. Note that if you write “In my opinion”, there is no need to write “I”. Also note that I have not written the word disadvantage. It is obvious. (In my opinion, while there this phenomenon leads to a lack (= disadvantage) of professional development, it offers numerous advantages such as flexibility of work hours and economic savings.)

Admittedly, one of the main disadvantages of working from home is that it impedes the professional development of an individual. It is commonly observed that working from home offers a casual environment in comparison with the office. (Unlike the office, the home offers a casual environment in which it is extremely difficult to focus.) Whenever an individual works in an office, he learns various skills along with performing his actual office professional tasks. For example, while working in an office (Too much office repetition.), a person learns how to articulate his ideas in a meeting with other people. (This is NOT an example. – 1) Furthermore, a few people take undue advantage of this work culture by becoming more casual (You’ve mentioned this in the second sentence. Why repeat again? It does not add any value.) about their work as there is less supervision but because of this they often lack in domain’s knowledge.

1. Let us restructure this idea and explanation without repeating office. Also, let us create impactful examples. Admittedly, one of the main disadvantages of working from home is that it impedes the professional development of an individual. Office not only offers a dedicated space to focus on work but also has other team members with who one can discuss professional issues. In a software company, for instance, it (= office) allows employees to discuss various design ideas and share any doubts regarding coding. Moreover, the home atmosphere is casual in nature and it distracts a person from performing optimally. 

In spite of the aforementioned possible negative outcomes, I would argue that working from home has various potential benefits. The first and foremost benefit of choosing this working style is that Firstly, (write concisely. Fewer words to express the same idea. This also prevents the repetition of words.) it allows an individual to maintain the work-life balance by choosing the working timings as per his own (his includes own. That’s a tautology. Using two words to express the same meaning. That’s LR mistake.) convenience. He can help the family during in their the hour of need such as dropping the children to school. (Avoid the last sentence. You must write a sentence that reflects work-life balance: He not only can drop children to school and cook food but also complete a report for a client during the night.) In other way around The family would also be happy because of the proper time being given to them all members will receive adequate time. In addition to this, if an individual works from home, he will be able to save substantial time and money. This is beneficial from both employees’ and employer’s perspective. A worker would be able to save the cost in term of fuel and his commuting time from office to home. Employers, on the other hand, would be able to save huge infrastructure cost informs of all and operational expenses. (This idea can be written more concisely. – 2) For instance, my Company recently announced the work from home policy, and around 60% of employees have opted the same and they are expecting to save around Rs. 30 Lac per annum because of this initiative.

2. Additionally, if employees work from home, they as well as their employer will save both time and money. While the former will save on commuting, the latter will cut infrastructure and operational expenses. 

In conclusion, even though there are some possible drawbacks of working from home, I believe that the benefits it brings to the people preponderate the negative outcomes.

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