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IELTS Essay Correction: Environment – Responsibility Of People Or Government?

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of people to take care of the environment. Others say it is the government that should take care of the environment.

Discuss both views and state your opinion.

The environment has become a major concern over the last couple of decades. Some people think that it is the duty of the public to save the environment preserve it (Use a pronoun to refer back to the environment) by using natural resources wisely (consuming natural resources frugally/ prudently) and using public transport frequently instead of private vehicles. (X instead of Y = You’re 100 percent replacing Y with X. There is nothing more or less frequently. using public transport more frequently than private vehicles.) However, I agree with those, who Others believe that government is responsible for taking care of the environment since it can impose laws and aware make public aware(Loss of parallelism – impose is a verb, aware is an adjective.) I agree with the former view.

People can contribute to in taking care of the environment by limiting preventing the unnecessary use (You can prevent misuse and limit use. Better word combination.) of paper, water and so on. For instance, if fewer papers are used, there will be less demand (demand of paper? It is from the people. Demand of wood? It is not clear. Fewer papers are used by whom? Vague. Use active voice.) from the factories. This will limit the deforestation. (For instance, if the people of India reduce paper use by 10 percent, the paper manufacturing units will need lesser wood and this will help preserve virgin Himalayan forests.) (Your example is weak in content. It is not specific. Vague.) Furthermore, people should prefer public transport over personal vehicles. Since, (No need of since with if.) if the number of private vehicles is high on roads, the amount of carbon monoxide will increase in the atmosphere. This will not only lead to air pollution but also demand for of petrol, which is a natural resource, will increase tremendously exceed (exceed what?). (Carbon Monoxide will increase the demand for petrol? Logic.) (If the number of private vehicles is high on roads, it will not only increase pollution due to more carbon emissions but also enhance the demand for petrol which is a scarce natural resource.) Thus, the use of buses and metro trains will help in saving the environment.

On the other hand, the government can save the environment by imposing stringent laws on the owners of factories. For example, industries should produce not only produce environment-friendly products, but also those products, which generate less pollution while during production. (Wrong use of while. WHILE is used to refer to two separate activities carried out simultaneously.) (What is the role of LAW in this example? Where does the government come into the picture?) Moreover, in this world of technology, the government should introduce laws for reducing the use of papers and the same work (which work? There is no mention of work earlier.) should be done on computers. (Moreover, in this technology-driven world, governments should introduce laws for regulating the use of papers and replace them with computers.) To exemplify, in 2018, Punjab and Haryana High Court, Chandigarh, converted 5 courts into paperless courts, which are not only saving trees but also saving trees as well as water (Overuse of not only but also construction.), which (Avoid using WHICH twice in the same sentence.) is used in production of papers. (For example, in 2018, the Punjab and Haryana High Court converted five courts into paperless courts and this is expected to save more than 1000 trees and millions of liters of water per annum.) In addition, the government should aware make people aware of from (AWARE is not a verb. It is an adjective. Wrong use. LR.) the environmental damage’s harmful effects of environmental damage, such as (Link SUCH AS with the word it exemplifies. It gives examples of harmful effects and not damage.) asthma due to air pollution, reduction in rainfall due to deforestation and so on. This awareness can be imparted using printed and electronic media. Consequently, government can play a major role in saving the environment. (Wrong use of consequently. This sentence is not needed.)

In conclusion, though the people can save the environment with judicious use of natural resources, the government is more responsible for saving the environment since it has the power to make laws. If people will follow those laws, this will lead to a sustainable earth for future human generations.

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