Answer Checking

IELTS General Task 1 Correction: Voluntary, Unpaid Work.

You live in an English speaking country and you want to do some voluntary, unpaid work in a developing country. Write a letter to a company called Cultural Expeditions, which organizes such trips. In your letter:

  • Explain why you want to do voluntary work.
  • State what your skills and experience are.
  • Indicate where you would like to volunteer and for how long.

Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir / Madam

20 minutes, 150 words at least.

Answer:

Dear Sir,

Last Monday, I visited your company website and found (discovered) that your organization it provides opportunities to visit developing countries where people can do charity work.

I have been doing charity work doing social service for many years and I would like to participate accompany (participate in something; accompany somebody. LR.) with your team during the next trip to Syria. I love helping people and I want to be a philanthropist. The trip with your team will allow me to help poor children in Syria. (Observe carefully – You’ve not clearly stated why you want to do the voluntary work. Is it because of past experience? Is it a career option? Is it just love for poor children? Even if the three are same, they are poorly connected. This will hamper the CC score. Let me connect them clearly: My life’s goal is to serve society by becoming a professional philanthropist. I have been doing social service for the elderly and disables in South Africa for the last five years. Serving the poor, war-affected children in Syria will offer me a new experience and enrich my resume.)

I am a post-graduate, working professional and, currently, I teach mathematics in a local school in South Africa. I live in Johannesburg and I have been associated with many charitable trusts and non-profitable organizations. I have participated and helped these organizations to run various education campaigns in Kenya, Mozambique, and India. (These are not skills.)

I have worked for various charitable organizations in South Africa, most notably the Human Aid. I used to collect and compile data for this organization so that it could be effectively used by the ground staff to target the people in need of aid. I have also worked in the same capacity in various localities of Kenya and Mozambique.

I would like to work with the children (These are not general children, but specific children. Prefer article the.) who are in Syrian refugee camps. I am available for the next six months and I am ready to teach the children in camps. My heart goes with these poor and helpless children when I see that they do not have an opportunity to learn and study.

Kindly consider me as a volunteer for the next trip and please do let me know whatever additional information you require from me.

Thanks and Regards, (Thank you,)

P.

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