Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Giving Lectures In Auditoriums.

Giving lectures in auditoriums to large numbers of students is an old way of teaching. With the technology available today there is no justification for it, and everything should be done online. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Teaching in lecture halls to a large number of students is a conventional method of teaching (Some words are unnecessary. The sentence makes perfect sense without them. They are called REDUNDANT words. You’ve written teaching in lecture halls. So, there is no need of writing of teaching. It is unnecessary and a repetition.). With the (You’re not talking about specific advancements, but advancements in general.) advancements in technology, online lectures should replace traditional teaching methods. (1) I strongly agree with this statement because it is convenient for students and it also (redundant words) helps them to improve their academic performance.

1. You can merge sentence 1 and 2 to avoid repeating the word ‘teaching’. With advancements in technology, traditional methods such as teaching in lecture halls should be replaced with online platforms (methods/ lectures).

Majority of the students find it convenient to view lectures online rather than studying in a lecture hall. This is because it saves their the time that they waste on traveling to and from college and university, which could can be better utilized in studying. It is comfortable for them to listen to the lectures while sitting at home or in any a coffee shop and at the  time that is convenient for them. (wrong use of and. It is unnecessary.) This teaches them time management skills and makes them independent and effective learners. For instance, a survey by The Straits revealed that in the United Kingdom, in the year 2015, online lectures saved nearly two-thirds of the daily time of the students and majority of them availed that time in studying. (The example is not strongly developed. It is more of a general statement than an example. For instance, I spend more than two hours every day on a course of Artificial Intelligence on Coursera (EdX). Had I been attending Islamabad University, which is fifty kilometers from my home, I would have spent more time in traveling than in education.)

The arguments in the above paragraph are well developed in a logical manner. Good job!

Online teaching is also beneficial for students who are introvert and it assists them in improving their academic performance. Students who are shy They are hesitant hesitate to ask any (any = singular; queries = plural.) queries from their teachers in front of other students. For them such students, an online lecture is a blessing as they can view the lecture it as many times as they like until they understand it completely. (You’ve not used pronouns in an optimum manner. This will help you avoid repeating certain words.) As a result, they fully grasp the topic and this improves their academic performance. For example, The University of London introduced online classes for their MBA students, in the year 2015 and this dramatically improved the academic results of by 20% (Percentage is never in isolation. 20 percent of results? What do you mean by results? Does it mean grades or pass percentage? This is vague.)(For example, the University of London introduced online classes for the MBA students in 2015 and this, surprisingly, improved the academic scores/ marks of introvert students by 20 percent.)

I’ve noticed that you seem to rush through an example. While the ideas in both body paragraphs are well developed with sufficient vocabulary and almost correct cohesive devices, the examples are weak.

In conclusion, I completely agree that the conventional way of teaching should be replaced by modern teaching methods. This allows students to study at their own convenience and helps them to understand the topic and to improve their results.

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