Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Resident Take Responsibility For Cleaning.

Some people think that residents must take responsibility for cleaning and tidying up of their neighborhood. Others believe that the government should take care of it. Discuss both views and include your own opinion.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

With changing lifestyle, busy schedule, and highly technological dependence, most of the individuals are lacking lack concern for environmental sanitation. (environmental pollution; environmental degradation) (There is nothing called environmental sanitation. There is either environment or sanitation.) Some people are suggesting suggest that individuals they should clean their surroundings by themselves since it helps them to feel responsible and reconnect them with the natural environment while others think the government should honour their its commitment to cities cleanliness as it reduces local public pressure the pressure on public(Public pressure is different from pressure on public.)

Prefer Simple Present Tense over Present Continuous. The context demands the former.

If individuals are fulfilled (wrong word choice. You can’t “fulfil WITH duties”. You can “fulfil duties”) burdened with duties of neighbourhood cleanup, they not only clean their streets, local parks, and roads but also stop themselves and others from dumping the waste on these areas. (Good structure. Perfect parallelism.) This responsibility turns them into a stable, mature, and couth citizen of a country. Along with this, the local public could save the tons a large amount of the government money, (Informally, you can use TONS for money. But the money is never measured in weight. Formally, this is incorrect.) which they are spending spend on waste management system by spending investing (word repetition) some time on sorting and properly disposing garbage and recycling waste. (1) For instance, in 2017 the Canadian government initiated the neighbourhood cleanup program in which resident’s residents band together to clean their neighbourhood. In next year budget report they claimed to be have saved as half of the money as they spend on regular cleaning programme. (Be saved is very different from have saved.)

1. The sentence poorly communicates the message. THEY does not refer to government. It seems people are spending money on waste management. Moreover, “by investing some time ….” should be separated from “waste management”. It should be connected with LOCALS. Let us make it a modifier. Along with this, by investing time on sorting and properly disposing of garbage, the locals can save a large amount of money that governments spend on waste management.

On the other hand, the municipalities, the which are a local authority, (This is a modifier. Put it within commas.) could save a lot of efforts and valuable and limited time of their efforts (why repeat efforts? What does their refer to?) by releasing them (releasing whom? THEM does not refer to any noun.) from this responsibility and pressure. (Are municipalities releasing themselves? The message is unclear.) (On the other hand, municipalities have ample resources that can save a lot of time and efforts that people invest in cleaning their localities.) In Canada, during snow and extreme weather temperature, (This is a modifier. Put it within commas.) it takes 2-3 hours for a person to shovel snow on roads while the snow truck of local authorities can finish the job in a few minutes. The local public could spend the saved time on other productive things such as education.

Many sentences fail to communicate the ideas clearly either due to flawed sentence structure, poor pronoun usage or lack of optimum words. This is likely to impact the GR and LR scores.

In conclusion I believe both individual’s and the government‘s efforts are important when it comes to cleaning local residential areas Although individuals involvement in their surrounding cleanliness save thousands of dollars of government without stringent rules and regulations (makes no sense. What is the connection between rules and regulations and dollars.) only a few of them are going to follow it.

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