Answer Checking

IELTS General Task 1 Correction: Study In Australia.

You have planned to study in Australia. You have sent a letter to a college, but you have not received a reply from it. Write a letter to the college principal. In your letter,

– You should give details of the course that you wished to do

– say why you choose to study at this college 

– say why you need the reply soon. 

20 minutes, 150 words at least.

Answer:

Dear Sir or Madam(Use either of them.)

My name is John Snow (No need to write this. The reader will know your name at the end of the letter.) and I am writing to enquire about the letter that I sent to your college on 23rd of June, last month, to get enrolled in one of the courses offered by your college. 

Note that most books and teachers suggest beginning the letter with I am writing. This is fine as long as most students do not copy this pattern. If most letters begin with this pattern, the examiner will deduct bands since you have crammed this structure. This is not the original content. You can restructure this as: I submitted an online application for a course in computer applications on the 23rd of June. However, it has been more than a month and I have not received a reply. I would like to enquire about the status of my application.

To begin, (You’ve begun with the introduction. Don’t use crammed structures.) I applied to ‘Diploma of Computer applications’ offered by the department of technology at your college. Although it is a one-year full-time programme, its curriculum has all required the subjects that are required necessary (avoid repeating require) to become a skilled a programmer.

There are two reasons why I decided to choose your college. Firstly, your college it (use a pronoun to refer back to your college. Do not repeat it.) offers a unique programme which is updated with job the computer industry’s standards. (There is nothing called Job industry. LR score suffers.) Secondly, your department of computer science is well-known for more campus placements for students than any other colleges in the country.

I would be grateful if you could have someone to look for my letter. (This paragraph is about the need for a quick look.) Could you please reply at your earliest convenience, because the deadline for the application program intake is approaching? (You’ve already applied for the program. So, you should be concerned about the commencement of the program. Not application intake. …. because the course is scheduled to commence in the next 15 days.)  I am hoping to get admission in your college, but, if this is not possible, I might want to will seek for an alternative. 

Thank you for your kind attention. I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully,

John Snow.

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