Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Life In 21st Century.

Life in the 21st century is better compared to the previous century. To what extent do you agree.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

It is often argued that life in the 90’s 20th century (The question demands a comparison with the previous century – 20th. Not with the 90s.) was not as good (Define GOOD. It is vague and carries no meaning.) economically prosperous and socially peaceful as it is today. While I agree that developments in the present century have comforted lives (Can’t comfort lives) provided ample comforts, I also believe that people in the past decades did not deal with mental issues as they do in this day and age.

The 21st century advancements in the technological world, in the 21st century has have brought comfort and convenience in the lives of people. While in the previous century past decades (develop the right context), daily tasks were performed manually, inventions in the this century has have (Two has/have mistakes in this paragraph. GR score.) altered the scenario. Washing machines, automatic cars, computers and mobile phones has have enabled individuals to do the daily chores quickly and effortlessly. This saves time which can be utililised in other aspects of life such as child rearing, professional commitments and in (no need of a preposition.) leisure activities.

However, the psychological health of people is being disturbed since developments in every sector have increased the workloads. A research paper published by Howard University mentioned that, (no comma after that) 50 years ago people never encountered any mental illness such as depression or anxiety, whereas, today, every 6 out of 10 of them suffer from these disorders. And p Present day’s increased workloads to meet the unrealistic deadlines was stated the main cause behind this.

Though there are a few grammar mistakes, you’ve developed the arguments really well and have maintained context. This will good bands in Task Achievement.

In conclusion, although (missing cohesive device to link contrasting ideas – although X, Y.innovations in the contemporary world have put people in a comfort zone, these have also ruined their psychological health. In my opinion, life was better in past as one does did not have to deal with mental disorders.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.