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IELTS Essay Correction: Best To Accept A Bad Situation.

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

People’s opinions differs on how to react in problematic circumstances such as unsatisfactory job or indigence. While some advocate that accepting those conditions is the best thing to do, I like, others I contend that one should slave away (I’ve never heard of this. What this? Do not assume that your score will improve if you use difficult words. On the contrary, you may lose bands since you may not understand the correct usage of these words.) for improvements as this move might bring both physical and financial benefits for them.

Convincing arguments can be made for the reason (redundant words.) why striving (STRIVE can’t be used alone. It is always used in the context of something. He is striving to make both ends meet. Incorrect usage. LR score suffers.) is imperative in bad situations. Firstly, lacking money can make difficult for individuals to have certain essential services such as healthcare assistance for themselves (= for individuals. You’ve mentioned this earlier) or their families because of rising healthcare cost nowadays. (1) Secondly, those who are dissatisfied with their job prospects should attempt to sharpen their skills as to have rewarding career growth. (You’ve not explained this idea sufficiently. This will reduce the TR/ TA score.) For example, a computer technician is paid less than 5000 rupees per month in India. If he learns a computer language such as C or C++, he can comfortably earn more than 50000 rupees per month. This will brighten the job prospects and make improve financial position. Therefore, individuals must endeavor so that they can afford the services or have a promising career in their lives.

1. Wrong order of object. Place the primary object after MAKE. Primary object = certain essential services. Also, you can use a better word than difficult. Firstly, lacking money can make certain essential services such as …. unaffordable for individuals ……

On the flip side, those who make a case for admitting (Admit is different from accept. You may admit an unfavourable situation but that does not prevent you from changing it. You can still take action. This is not the right synonym.) an unsatisfactory situation believe that sometimes, especially in the case of job dissatisfaction, accepting circumstances becomes necessary. They argue that a university student, for example, who may not like his part-time job (Isn’t he a student? Where does a job come in picture?), might end up sticking to it for a while in order to make up for their living costs. Nonetheless, in the long run, students might want to improve their position by looking for better opportunities. Similarly, a shortage of money is not problematic if a person feels content with it. For instance, I earn enough money to meet my basic needs but not sufficient to purchase luxuries such as a car. Despite this shortage, I live happily with my parents, wife, and daughter.

In conclusion, in some typical conditions, people know accepting the current situation is the best for them; however, in general, they should try to improve such situations for the sake of personal and financial aspects of their life.

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