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IELTS Essay Correction: Using Tablets, Smartphones To Learn.

Nowadays, parents are allowing their children to use tablets and smartphones to enhance learning. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Due to the increased availability of technological gadgets, the majority of the children are allowed to use smartphones for acquiring knowledge and learning new things. Although, (No comma after although in “Although X, Y” construction.) this way of learning has numerous benefits, I believe that the negative impacts it has on the physical health and mental ability of the learners are much greater.

On the one hand, smartphones and tablets improve the learning process in numerous ways. Firstly, these gadgets allow children to grasp knowledge in a quick manner quickly because the human mind can easily retain things through the audio-visual medium. For instance, learners they can easily understand the difficult concepts of science and mathematics when they watch online activity based tutorials on Youtube, Byju’s, Edx and Udemy. Another advantage is that children they do not feel boredom while learning through smartphones, unlike the theoretical way of learning. (Moreover, unlike the traditional way of learning, the gadgets offer an interesting and engaging experience.) (Better sentence structure.) These devices use interactive videos, cartoons, diagrams, etc to prevent boredom arising out of text. (The idea is not adequately explained.) Therefore, these days, parents are more likely to permit their wards to use smartphones.

Despite these benefits, I would argue that there are far more disadvantages of this development. Primarily, excessive use of gadgets may have a detrimental effect on the eyes since watching mobile screens for a long time causes eye strain. This may leads to many eye disorders such as shortsightedness and farsightedness. (The idea is thoroughly and specifically explained. Good job.) Secondly, children tend to become addictive of smartphones and tablets, and they spend most of their free time by sticking to these devices. (Alternate structure using so thatSecondly, children become SO addictive of smartphones and tablets THAT they spend most of their free time by sticking to these devices.) This ultimately results in decreased physical activity, which often becomes the reason for of childhood obesity. Finally, excessive dependency on these technological devices somehow hinders the creativity of sharp minds of (redundant words. Plus, this prevents the repetition of minds.children because they may completely rely on the internet for finding solutions instead of using their own minds.

To conclude, while smartphones have made learning quite easy and interesting, it they may result in making children vulnerable to health problems. Thus, the positives of this trend do not outweigh the negatives.

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