Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Exercise Is Good For Children.

It is generally accepted that exercise is good for children and teenagers. Therefore, physical education and sport should be compulsory for all students in all schools. What do you think?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Since exercise is considered to be the best method to live a healthy life for all, be they are children or teens, for everyone including children and teenagers, some have suggested suggest that physical education and sports need to be made mandatory part of all schools and colleges curriculum. I totally agree with this notion as human health is a major concern today and addition of this subject (You’ve mentioned two subjects above – physical education, sports. Wrong referencing.) will also assure children doing regular physical activities.

Since health levels of populations are increasingly deteriorating now than in the past (You can’t compare health levels with the past. The preposition IN changes everything.) so (No need of so with since.there is a dire need of physical education which can be better imparted in schools and other educational institutions. This will definitely teach children and teens how to prevent diseases at in the first place by noticing different symptoms of the body. (This sentence needs further explanation. What do you mean by symptoms?) All state-run schools of India provide physical education right from secondary classes until their higher school education which is proven to be very beneficial for students in staying fit. This is not a strong example. Make it CONTEXT SPECIFIC. How is it beneficial?

For example, the Indian government implemented compulsory physical education classes for all students from 2014 and, since then, the physical strength and academic performance of the students in these schools have exceeded that of those in private schools(context specific).

In addition, taking part in sports during school days helps in developing the habit of doing daily exercise (habit of exercising daily/ regularly). This is because almost all sports demand players to warm up their body bodies just before playing and this warming up stage involves some sort of physical exercise. Such kind of habit to work This habit of working out every day can extremely benefit the person to maintain in maintaining physical fitness and (These are two independent clauses. Keep them separate.) to it ultimately leads an active lifestyle. Even a study at the University of Tokyo has found out that people who participated in sports at school are healthier than those who did not think of doing so. (This is not a strong example since it is not context specific.) A study at the University of Tokyo has found that students who participated in sports during school score better grades and perform brilliantly in internships as compared to those who focused on studies only.

To conclude, I presume that the idea of declaring physical education and sports as an essential part of school syllabus will work wonders in raising human health in future (WILL includes future.because it will encourage young people to know the importance of exercise.

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