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IELTS Essay Correction: Government Should Pay Salary To Mothers.

Parents, usually mothers, give up the work, choose to stay home and look after the family. Some people think the government should give them a salary. Do you agree or disagree? Give the reasons from your knowledge and experience.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Women are considering the backbone of the a house because they can comfortably handle the household tasks and family, and, therefore, (Put this interrupter within commas) most of the time females have to give up their career for the sake of the family. One school of thought avers that the state must give financial support to these females. I do not see eye to eye with this statement (Statements do not have eyes. People have. “See eye to eye” is used to refer to agreeing with SOMEONE. Not SOMETHING. This usage is incorrect.) since it will accelerate increase (wrong use of the word accelerate.burden on the state however I do not turn a blind eye (1) over the other process through which authority can aid these people.

1. Do not presume that using idioms and flowery language will fetch you good score. This is not what IELTS examiners are looking for. They are looking for clarity of communication. Your choice of words hinders that. Do not think that you are displaying a wide range of vocabulary. Wrong use of words, as you’ve done above, will hamper your score.

In abundant (If these countries are abundant, how have they failed to provide the prerequisites? Wrong word.) second world countries, the population is increasing by leaps and bounds, and the government of these countries is flunk (This is an informal word and it is used in the context of EXAMS only. LR score will suffer.) have failed to give prerequisites things (Prerequisite refers to a THING.) such as food and shelter to their civilians. In these circumstances, (Note that I’ve placed a comma in the first sentence as well. These are introductory clauses and they must be separated from the main sentence.) if state have has to pay to housewives then , (Do not write THEN in an “IF-THEN” clause. Correct construction = If X, Y.this will be an extra burden on the authority its financial resources, (Use IT to refer back to a state.) and the state it will be unable to support the major section sectors such as educations and medical facilities which are crucial for a prosperous society order of the day. (Also note that IDIOMS are not your words. Express your ideas in your words. Not someone else’s.) Moreover, anyhow even if the government will commences this process then ample cunning professionals left will leave the job on in the name of (on the pretext of) managing household activities, and become reliant on the state. This will affect the growth and economy of the country.

In the contemporary epoch, most of the housewives are educated adequately that, and (wrong use of thatthey can comfortably work from home, and side by side they can effortlessly manage while managing the household work. A recent survey by ‘Times of India’ has revealed that folks who are doing online jobs like content writing and data entry are earning a handsome salary. Therefore, instead of paying, the state should provide them jobs according to their qualification.

On the whole, it’s it is crystal clear from the above statements arguments that giving salary to housewives is not a judicious decision. Therefore, the state should think about the other processes like online jobs.

 

      

                

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