Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Modern Technology In Workplaces.

MODERN TECHNOLOGY IS NOW VERY COMMON IN MOST WORKPLACES. HOW DO YOU THINK THIS HAS CHANGED THE WAY WE WORK? DO YOU THINK THERE ARE DISADVANTAGES TO RELYING TOO MUCH ON TECHNOLOGY?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

It is argued that advanced technology such as WhatsApp (Make your response more specific) is quite common in the majority of the workplaces. It has improved the way employees communicate with each other. I believe, there are drawbacks of depending too much on technology. (I believe there are numerous drawbacks of over-reliance on technology.)

The invention of email has improved the way employees and management managers interact with each other. (Very specific and precise. Good job!) They The former can ask queries with to (raise queries with) their colleagues and managers the latter at the touch click of a button. (Let us structure the sentence in a manner that eliminates the need to mention employees and managers. They (= employees and managers) can discuss various business issues and solve numerous problems by seamlessly communicating with each other without any delay. Email is often supplemented with WhatsApp and Telegram as official modes of communication.) Moreover, online meetings have eliminated the need for physical presence of employees. If an employee is out of station travelling due to work, he can still participate in official meetings through video conferencing through Skype and Team Viewer. For example, a recent report by The Straits revealed that around 90 percent of the companies in the United Kingdom use email as an official mode of communication and this has drastically improved the interaction between them (between whom? Companies? There is no other noun to which they can refer.)(Though you’ve mentioned a few nouns in the example, it lacks context specificity. How does email improve interaction? For instance, Forbes magazine recently reported that organizations that use email and WhatsApp to communication and eliminate the need for paper-based channels are at least 20 percent faster in executing projects.)

By writing a few names such as WhatsApp, Telegram, Skype, Telegram, you can make your response more specific. These also count as examples.

In my opinion, there are a number of problems to rely heavily on technology (makes no sense. “Problems to rely”? Perhaps you missed something.) related to unnecessary reliance on technology. The major one is an the internet connectivity issue. If there is a poor internet connection, the delegated tasks cannot be completed on time. (This problem is not due to technology but due to lack of technology. Logically incorrect.) (Most importantly, the over-reliance on the internet as a medium of communication leads to its unnecessary uses. Many employees prefer to use it to play games, watch movies and talk to friends instead of completing a project. This results in loss of productivity and lower profits.) Furthermore, the majority of the data is stored in laptops or computers and if that data is lost, the company would loses all the important records (Can you be a bit more specific about records? important records related to accounting, vendors, customers, and projects.). Another potential problem is that the majority of the companies have their customized software and if there is an issue with the server, it is not possible to resume work. As a result, it negatively affects the overall efficiency and productivity of employees, along with (Wrong use of along with. It is used to connect the two comparables. – 1) company falling behind deadlines. For instance, a report published by The Times concluded that in 2010 the Axcon company’s server was down for three days. Employees could not do any work and, as a result, the company failed to submit its sales tax returns on time and it was fined heavily by the authorities.

1. It reduces the productivity of employees along with that of the company. OR (your sentence) As a result, it not only affects the overall efficiency of companies but also impacts a company’s margins.

In conclusion, the breakthrough in technology technologies such as the invention of (“invention of email” is not a technology.) email and online conferencing has enabled employees to communicate effectively with each other. I think there are negative results of depending too much on technology as it deters the work (You can’t DETER work. Wrong use of this word. Check dictionary. LR issue.) to be completed on time.

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